tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1701899709555814591.post7943380260881116786..comments2023-06-18T09:38:26.500-04:00Comments on Perfect Sand: My Imaginary DaughterAugusthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05327497007604732176noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1701899709555814591.post-40927758769420582432011-03-09T10:29:02.554-05:002011-03-09T10:29:02.554-05:00First off, congrats on your non-win at the Oscars ...First off, congrats on your non-win at the Oscars party (smile). Second, it IS funny that your imaginary children are always girls.<br /><br />As the parent of a adult daughter who's always been self-directed, I've mostly just gotten out of her way as she sets her goals and then goes about attaining them. A lot of people would describe Simone as assertive, but it's situational. She can be just as timid as anyone else, including me, depending on the situation.<br /><br />And that's the key to it. I think we feel more or less assertive depending on the variables. Are we in a crowd or one-on-one? With friends or strangers? Is there something about the setting or the other person(s) that makes us feel more or less in control and confident?<br /><br />I do think there's something to the argument that Ivy Leaguers have give themselves permission to dream big. But I also see folks with less education but equally healthy egos doing stuff with supreme confidence.<br /><br />As for the gender imbalance among positions of power, no easy answers but interesting to think about, as you say.george redehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07322936024014910418noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1701899709555814591.post-4529066620546982742011-03-04T15:18:39.107-05:002011-03-04T15:18:39.107-05:00Thanks Tonja - I think you're right. (It's...Thanks Tonja - I think you're right. (It's funny that my imaginary children are always girls :)Augusthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05327497007604732176noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1701899709555814591.post-78353174442573934392011-03-04T15:06:00.584-05:002011-03-04T15:06:00.584-05:00I think we help our daughters (and sons) be confid...I think we help our daughters (and sons) be confident by accepting them for exactly who they are (even if their strongest quality is the one we hate the most about ourselves). <br /><br />We need to notice the things that are wonderful about them and support them in whatever their talents are. We show them how to love themselves by loving ourselves. Not easy. Maybe impossible.Tonjahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08652479946102909276noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1701899709555814591.post-64258934781245624562011-03-04T09:43:36.150-05:002011-03-04T09:43:36.150-05:00Ha, thanks Aki, and thanks for the article link. I...Ha, thanks Aki, and thanks for the article link. I'm less worried about intelligence than the area of social skills. I just imagine her picking up my neuroses. <br /><br />I was reading the Salon's Cary Tennis response to a young man who was jealous of everyone who went to an Ivy League school. The man argued that those people all have great lives, exciting jobs, good income. Tennis replied that the only difference between those people and HIM wasn't in the quality of education. Rather it was that the Ivy Leaguers had received an unspoken PERMISSION to go for those big dreams--the exciting job, good income, etc. So this man, he had to give himself permission to also dream big. <br /><br />I think you could use that ivy league/state school argument for men/women. While (generally speaking) women today are more educated, more skilled than their male counterparts, men are much more likely to be in positions of power. In my own library system, while the majority of workers and librarians are women, the branch managers are much more gender-balanced. Are men more likely to be hired as managers, or are women less likely to aspire to those positions? <br /><br />Anyway, it's interesting to think about.Augusthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05327497007604732176noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1701899709555814591.post-68975536645777060122011-03-04T02:31:08.359-05:002011-03-04T02:31:08.359-05:00First of all you "lack" nothing. But pu...First of all you "lack" nothing. But putting that aside, I just saw an article in Huffingtonpost that I'm going to photocopy and pass out to female students at my middle school. It's called "The Trouble with Bright Girls":<br />http://www.huffingtonpost.com/heidi-grant-halvorson-phd/girls-confidence_b_828418.html<br /><br />I actually don't buy into the oft-repeated and unsupported conjecture stated in the piece, "Most likely, it has to do with the kinds of feedback we (girls) get from parents and teachers as young children." But I can overlook that because the general message and tone of the piece is really pertinent and important for girls. <br /><br />So, if you're really worried about your future daughters, start filling up a file with articles like this! :-)Aki Morihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08675552904190727054noreply@blogger.com