Perfect Sand

I Forget... What Was I Going to Say?

2012-02-20T20:20:00.004-05:00

My grandma has an alarm system. When she returns from a shopping trip or church, she has just two minutes to get from the back of the house to her bedroom to turn off the alarm. The alarm is loud, but not to her 90-year old ears, so she's often forgotten to turn it off and received a call from the company making sure everything's alright. Finally she decided to put a note just inside her door, "Turn off alarm."

I'm not quite at the point where I wouldn't notice loud beeping, but I put up my first Post-It note yesterday where I'll be sure to see just before leaving the condo:

I don't know if you'll be able to read the yellow note, but it says, "Remember cell phone and purse!!!"

Wednesday, I left my purse at work. Thankfully it was there the next morning, my $22 cash and credit card with a laughably low limit in tact. But my relief at finding it was tempered by the realization that I'd left my phone at home, the second time I did that last week. When I'm at work, this isn't a big deal--I don't get personal calls during the day, and I'm still able to check email. I can be reached at the library in an emergency. But I'm in the car for over an hour each day. If there's a problem (my timing belt hasn't sounded too good in a while), I'd like to be able to call a tow truck or Triple-A.

I don't just leave stuff at work or home. I'm forgetful in other ways. In fact, yesterday, I got distracted mid-scrub and left a bowl in the sink and the dishwasher open. Seriously.

I get lost in my thoughts, sometimes. I'm thinking about what changes I want to make in my story, or what projects I'll tackle at work, or the debt crisis in Greece. I'd like to be more conscientious, of course, but part of me is depressed by the idea of filling my mind with boring minutiae.

Q & A: Just for Fun

2012-02-14T21:41:00.002-05:00

My friend on the Left Coast, George, of Rough and Rede, tagged me with this blog post. I'm taking advantage of his eleven questions to a) fulfill his kind request and b) get me out of my blogging rut (I said, not too long ago, that I would write a post a day!)

The Rules:

1. You must post the rules (and link up who tagged you).

2. Post eleven fun facts about yourself on the blog post.

3. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post, and then create eleven new questions to ask the people you've tagged.

4. Tag however many people you want.

5. Let them know you've tagged them!

Fun Facts:

- I planned to be a math or chemistry major when I entered college

- I've been to five countries

- My brothers and I were born two years apart, '80, '82, and '84

- I went to a Montessori school through 6th grade; I can't think of a better education

- I recently turned from a life-long pc user to a mac user. Mac is better.

- If I had to live on a single food for the rest of my life, it would be pizza.

- I'm the same weight as I was in 1998.

- I got my first speeding ticket when I was driving my mom's car on a highway (circa 2003); I was trying to figure out the cruise control as I was coasting down a hill and, somehow, my speedometer hit 90. Oops.

- I just cried like a baby at "50/50": good movie.

- I go to my grandma's house almost every Sunday. For fun.

- I drive a stick shift.

George's Questions & My Answers:

1. Who had the greatest influence on you growing up?

Easily my parents, in different ways. I was a bit of a homebody, so there was no one (besides my brothers) with whom I spent more time. How I look at the world; how I interact with others; how I think about myself: all this is directly influenced by my parents and how they treated me growing up. I see on television and read in books and hear stories from others how their parents talked to them. I don't remember a single disparaging word from either of my parents. I try to be good and thoughtful and unselfish. I worry, maybe too much, about how others are feeling. That's my mom. That's my dad.

2. What do you want people to remember about you?

I've joked about this: "Well, she tried." I have this image in my head of all of us just floating around, living out our lives, trying to make the best of it. It's hard to know what to do. To know what's best or what's right. So we try. I try. I would hope people recognize that. (Ask me again in a few years, and maybe my answer will change. In fact, I hope it does!)

3. Do you believe in God?

There's that E.M. Forster quote I've mentioned a few times here and elsewhere: how do I know what I think until I see what I say? In my story (currently at 79,000 words, about 30% through the revision process!), I'd originally intended for it to be about the relationship between this woman and a teenage girl: one has never been (nor wanted to be) a mother; the other is orphaned, practically speaking. But without planning on it, throughout the story I explore each character's faith, or lack thereof. Does it make one's life easier or harder? It's funny: I may cringe when I hear people on the right bemoan our nation's shift toward secularism. But they're right, I think. We are. Regardless of a person's individual beliefs, our culture is slowly becoming more secular and more inclusive. The Catholic Bishops are asking the government to help do what they weren't able to: prevent women from using birth control.

4. What are you most proud of?

I'll be silly here and say jumping out of a plane.

5. What is one thing you'd like to do before you die?

I'd definitely like to visit more countries.

6. At this age, what has surprised you about your life?

The extent to which I push myself to be around people. Growing up as this painfully shy and awkward girl, I assumed I'd choose a life in which I didn't have to interact much with others. That I could be alone a lot. But ever since high school, I've chosen jobs that force me to be around others. Not just a few others, but a lot, whether it's a classroom full of preschoolers or nursing students, or a public library. I don't think this is a coincident. I think I recognize that if I weren't forced to by my job, I would live the life of a hermit (which seems appealing at times!)

7. Name three of your all-time favorite movies.

Oh, this is hard. Give me a genre, like dream political movies, and I'll say "The American President" and "Dave." Say romantic comedy, I'll say "Pretty Woman," "When Harry Met Sally," and "You've Got Mail." Say movies you've watched half a dozen times on purpose, I'll say "Forrest Gump," "Clueless," and "Independence Day." Say best movies in the past two months, I'll say the American "Girl With the Dragon Tattoo" and "Drive." All time? Hmm...

8. What are you reading right now? And I do mean now.

I'm about two-thirds finished with Tom Rachman's "The Imperfectionists." I'm also rereading Christopher Moore's "Lamb" with my boyfriend.

9. Chocolate or vanilla.

Easiest question: chocolate.

10. If you could have dinner with a celebrity, who would it be?

Probably Stephen Colbert. Especially if he acted like I was on his show and he was interviewing me.

11. What don't people realize about you?

I can be extremely goofy; I try to hide this side of me as much as possible to avoid confusion.

That's all I have for tonight. Thanks for the questions!

Aren't You Finished by Now?

2012-02-10T12:13:00.004-05:00

Today's my first and only day off work this week. I'm still revising (my boyfriend says, "Aren't you finished by now?!" and I ask myself the same thing).

I'm stuck on my ending. I've gone back and forth many times, and as written it's kind of in the middle. It's not the horrible choice that may make you hate a character, and it's not the warm and fuzzy, nor is it the clear moral answer. I'm realizing today, as I reread my final chapters, that I need to be stronger. Trust my original plan. Even if it makes you hate a character (which is debatable... I think it may split on gender lines, ha), I think that's okay--it just means you care about these made-up characters and world.

Sorry for the vagueness. I'm excited about making the fix and wanted to get my thoughts out. I'm at 78556 words, and expect it to get longer.

Next Time You Buy a DVD Online...

2012-02-09T22:15:00.003-05:00

My dad's foundation has partnered with Amazon. If you follow the link (which takes you to the basic Amazon.com site with some added code), 4% of every purchase you make will go toward his foundation. You won't pay any more, any less. I know I don't go a month without buying something from Amazon; from now on, I'll start from this link:

Every little bit helps:

$80 pays for one preschool teacher's monthly salary
$50 pays for relief food for one month
$40 pays for rental of classrooms for one month
$25 pays for one goat
$20 pays for one school uniform
$10 pays for one mosquito net
$3 pays for one student's school fees for one month

2012-02-08T22:02:00.002-05:00

I watched "Contagion" tonight and am suddenly aware of how much I touch my face throughout the day. According to a character in the movie (which is about a very deadly and rapidly-spreading virus), I probably touch my face two- or three-thousand times a day.

Luckily, we keep hand sanitizer on our check-out desks for staff and customers alike.

Currently Reading...

2012-02-06T21:44:00.003-05:00

I've started reading "The Imperfectionists," by Tom Rachman. Each chapter is told from a different perspective in a new setting: contemporary Paris, France, first; now, Rome in the 1950s. As I read, the connections become more clear. From Amazon:

Fifty years and many changes have ensued since the paper was founded by an enigmatic millionaire, and now, amid the stained carpeting and dingy office furniture, the staff’s personal dramas seem far more important than the daily headlines. Kathleen, the imperious editor in chief, is smarting from a betrayal in her open marriage; Arthur, the lazy obituary writer, is transformed by a personal tragedy; Abby, the embattled financial officer, discovers that her job cuts and her love life are intertwined in a most unexpected way. Out in the field, a veteran Paris freelancer goes to desperate lengths for his next byline, while the new Cairo stringer is mercilessly manipulated by an outrageous war correspondent with an outsize ego. And in the shadows is the isolated young publisher who pays more attention to his prized basset hound, Schopenhauer, than to the fate of his family’s quirky newspaper.

Photobooth

2012-02-05T17:58:00.003-05:00

I have a cool app on my phone called "Pocketbooth" - it takes four quick pictures of you and stitches them together like one of those old fashioned photo booths. Here's some of me and my nana (not sure why I look so grumpy in picture #4).

No Bells, No Whistles

2012-02-04T23:38:00.003-05:00

I'd been to comedy shows a couple times--once in college and again at a small club a couple years ago. Watching these men--it's only been men--get up on stage and try to make me and the rest of the audience laugh, I think about how hard it must be, night after night, for them to put themselves up there among distracted, drunk, or heckling crowds. How painful it must be. They don't have tricks to fall back on. There's no band, no bells and whistles, just the stories they tell.

But tonight I saw a true professional--Lewis Black. I didn't worry about his home life or whether or not he self-medicated. He spent some time on politics, how he can't believe that anyone is a Democrat or Republican these days, considering how horrible both parties are. He also said he wouldn't make any jokes about Obama because he's not funny--he's just so smart that he becomes lost in his head and thinks about the rest of us in the abstract (he used his serious voice here). Black spent more time mocking the republican candidates--pretty easy targets, but it still cracked me up.

(Actually, one of the funniest jokes came from the warm-up comedian, John Bowman: he hopes Mitt Romney picks Tom Cruise as his running mate so we can get America's two wackiest religions on one ticket.)

Let Them Eat Cake

2012-02-02T09:11:00.004-05:00

Forbes called it a "sound bite blunder," I call it a "Washington Gaffe". A "gaffe" is a social error or a faux pas; in Washington, DC, a gaffe is when a politician tells the truth. Republican front runner Mitt Romney made the latter kind of gaffe when he explained to Solidad O'Brien on CNN "I'm not concerned about the very poor." Because the very poor have a safety net--welfare, food stamps, housing vouchers--he's not worried about them. He went on to say that he doesn't care about the very rich, either, because they're just fine. He's concerned about the middle class.

I hope he has to explain himself. But his own words suggest that he's not at all concerned about a group of people who are already so disenfranchised. Making ends meet through welfare and food stamps is not an easy life. I'd venture to guess that the "very poor" includes a high percentage of children and elderly. It's good to know what Romney really thinks about these groups. "The Examiner" calls Romney's statements not a gaffe but a "dog whistle to the tea party", which believes that too much money is spent on entitlements that go to the "very poor."

I do wonder how Romney defines "middle class." He referred to his speaking fees of over $370,000 as "not very much." Is a $370,000 income "middle class" to Romney? What about 10% of that, $37,000? I'm sure millions of Americans would love to be making $37,000 a year and pay the 25% tax rate on that money.

Edited to add a link to Jon Stewart's take on Romney's statements.

le sigh

2012-02-01T22:43:00.001-05:00

Things are temporarily on hold for the full-time job. Long story, but I'll continue to pick up extra hours until everything is sort out.

Le sigh.

2012-01-31T21:24:00.003-05:00

I had a great meeting with my writing partner this morning. I've been busy editing and rewriting the past few weeks, and I was eager to share the changes I had made. Also, I wanted some direction on the ending that I hurriedly wrote, so excited to be "finished." She gave me some great feedback and suggestions that will guide me as I continue revising, especially on those last few pages.

But the meeting was also great because I got to read some chapters of her current work-in-progress with new characters and plot lines. I loved it, and I so admire her ability to keep producing new and wonderful stories. It makes me excited for the time when I can begin a new project.

Sushi

2012-01-30T20:51:00.003-05:00

I'm a neurotically picky eater. I'm slightly less picky than I was five years ago, and far less picky than I was ten years ago, but I still have pangs of anxiety whenever I go to someone's house for a meal. My desire not to offend someone by refusing what food they offer is typically smaller than my desire not to eat something that's not on my approved "list."

But a couple years ago I had my first pieces of sushi, some California Rolls. Since then I've had lots of different kinds, including, I'm told, sushi made with eel. I ask my boyfriend to order it without telling me what's inside--I don't want to chicken out, thinking about whatever underwater creature is rolled up with rice--which has led to my most adventurous eating in my life. (There was one roll he ordered, explaining I would be very upset if I knew what was in it. After I ate it (and liked it), he wanted to tell me what it was. But I won't let him. Even now, weeks later, I don't want to know what I ate.)

I shocked my mom; I still won't eat bananas.

2012-01-29T23:30:00.003-05:00

I bought a new phone.

My old one was great but... the GPS was unreliable and it didn't have a flash for pictures and my number had a Kentucky area code....

My two-year contract was up. I could have stuck with my current phone company and kept my old phone, or signed with a new one and get a great deal on a new super-smart phone. New won.

I feel a bit weird about it now, away from all the websites touting its great features, away from the ease of ordering a new one with a few clicks. I'll need a new battery for my car, soon. I hope to take a vacation this March or July. I have other things I could/should spend that money on. Oh well. Hopefully I'll have the new one for a while, at least until my new two-year contract is up.

Good Times

2012-01-28T22:16:00.005-05:00

Tonight about twenty of us met to say goodbye to one of our coworkers. She's going to a better place: South Carolina. It's fun seeing the people I work with outside the library, and because of differences in age and geography, we only get together for special events (such as someone leaving). We're generally educated, well-read, and bleeding heart liberals. Despite our education and empathy for the less-fortunate, we laughed the most over the many mean and stinky people we've encountered over the years in the library.

The New Austen

2012-01-27T14:59:00.003-05:00

I missed writing yesterday -- too busy watching the entire first season of "Downton Abbey"! Everyone at work was talking about it (staff and customers alike) and I wanted to give the show a try. Six episodes later, I'm caught up on the first season and eager to see the next two.

The show reminds me of something Jane Austen would have produced, in that it focuses on rules and manners and the limitations for women. But because it takes place in the early 20th century, not 18th century, we see the seeds of change. Unlike an Austen novel, we spend as much time with the maids and footmen as we do the family being served. I've seen and read "Pride and Prejudice" countless times, as Austen is so clever in her dialogue and descriptions and astute in her observations. Watching each installment of "Downton Abbey" is like watching a new adaptation of an Austen novel (set 80 years later), where we don't know what's going to happen.

Ready, Set, Action!

2012-01-25T11:46:00.003-05:00

I printed out all 278 pages of my draft, 12pt Font, Times New Roman. Double-spaced. I'm enjoying going through it with a purple pen and post-it notes, marking up things that are awkward or unnecessary. Much of chapter six, I realized, was awkward and unnecessary, so today I rewrote it.

There wasn't much action. Except for a paragraph that concludes the chapter, I could delete the whole thing and the story wouldn't miss a beat. In the previous version of the chapter, I had my protagonist feel threatened and scared by someone--a stranger. I was trying to develop her character, showing how vulnerable she felt even when it wasn't warranted. All the excitement was in her head.

But how much more exciting would the chapter be if instead of merely feeling threatened, she is actually threatened? Her fear is legitimate. She is vulnerable. I still get to develop her character by how she reacts to the fear and threat but, I think, it becomes a much stronger chapter.

Even though I started with a rough outline, I wasn't sure where I was going each page. I think I was afraid to write anything that might distract me from the larger story. But now that the larger story is finished, I'm psyched to return to individual pages and chapters and improve them.

Newt

2012-01-24T22:37:00.003-05:00

My grandma is a fan of Newt Gingrich. As readers know, my nana is awesome. She knits me hats, bakes me cookies, and is generally the coolest 90yr-old ever. But she likes Newt. She thinks he's "so smart" and has "great ideas."

"Just listen to him," she says. "I know you like Obama but Gingrich knows how politics work and can get things done. We need someone like that."

She recognizes all his personal failings, with his three overlapping marriages. But she likes him. She likes Santorum, too--"The young guy," she calls him--but he's not ready yet.

I've stopped trying to argue with her. She'll never vote Democratic, anyway, because of the abortion issue, even though I think the President who got us out of Iraq is more pro-life than the one who invaded it.

It's just interesting to hear her perspective. Just as I started to wonder how anyone could ever in their right mind support Newt Gingrich for president, Nana gives me an explanation.

Five Things

2012-01-23T21:28:00.007-05:00

Favorite Ice Cream Flavors

Mint chocolate chip
Peanut-butter and chip
Chocolate chip cookie dough
Moose Tracks
Vanilla (with hot fudge or peanut butter)

(When I tried to think of what to write tonight, I had a brain freeze. Much like eating ice cream too fast.)

Whole Battles Waged in Our Heads

2012-01-22T21:04:00.005-05:00

When I came home from my grandmother's this afternoon, I noticed that my boyfriend had cleaned up the condo; that is, the condo minus my half of the bedroom. I'm immediately offended. He wants me to clean! How rude! I spent the next twenty minutes angry, thinking he's passive-aggressively manipulated me into cleaning.

It was only after I was done (I wasn't happy about it, but I did it) that we talked and I realized that at no point did he suggest that I should clean. In fact he tried to get me to solve his Rubik's cube. I created the whole drama in my head.

Such is the life of an introvert, eh? Whole battles are waged in our heads. Grudges are held and forgiven without those around us aware of what has happened, only that we're vaguely annoyed.

Surreal Headline:

2012-01-21T23:02:00.004-05:00

"Newt Gingrich won the Republican Primary in South Carolina." Seriously? I almost feel bad for Mitt, if I thought he could experience real human emotions.

I feel bad for saying even that. I actually think South Carolina will be a bloop. That for the first time since 1976, they haven't picked the eventual nominee. Time will tell.

2012-01-20T22:26:00.002-05:00

Monday I interview for a full-time position at the library. This won't be new for me -- in the first 18 months that I was with the library, I interviewed for 8 different full-time positions before I finally got one. I left it after a year because I picked up another class, and because I thought my life was heading in one direction. Now, I think, if writing is going to be an important part of my life, there's nowhere better to work than the library.

"Funny Library Montage," by Bryan Greenland

Lucky Girl

2012-01-19T09:23:00.003-05:00

Some days I feel bowled over by just how lucky I am. I'm healthy, I have a job that I enjoy and an outside interest (writing) that I love; I have family and friends I love, and a boyfriend who can make me laugh like no one else can.

A lot of things about our society angers and frustrates me--injustice and inequality abound--but when I step back I'm reminded that things aren't all bad. And yesterday, with their offices flooded with phone calls as well as the protests across the web, from google to Wikipedia to reddit, we saw Senators and Congresspeople retreat from positions they were heavily lobbied to take. I hope this is a sign of the future: the voices of many becoming more powerful than the money of few.

I'd been afraid that writing a post a day would be difficult, but on the contrary it's been great forcing myself to sit and write for 10-30 minutes each day, regardless of when I work or what I have to say. Have a great Thursday!

Cincinnati's Flying Pig Marathon

2012-01-18T21:14:00.006-05:00

My dad's foundation, Journey: The Ed Colina Foundation, is piggybacking (pun intended) on one of the top marathons in the United States, the Cincinnati Flying Pig Marathon. When you register for the event, enter a coupon code (email me at perfectsand @ gmail.com for it, or my dad at ed @ edcolinafoundation.org), and 10% of your registration fee will go to the Foundation. According to the Flying Pig website, using this code will give you the "lowest possible price for Marathon, Half Marathon, Open Relay, 10K and 5K" through April 18.

If you're participating in the race, please consider entering the code. The foundation directly supports education, empowerment, and nutrition in Kenya. A little goes a long way.

Apt Phrases

2012-01-17T17:20:00.003-05:00

I'm not a particularly metaphorical writer. I don't use much figurative language. But I do have some phrases that I fall back on without even thinking--"It's funny," "it seemed," and "it was as if"--that provide me a natural opening for a narrator or speaker to make some kind of connection or analogy.

But have I overused these phrases? Worried, I used the awesome "ctrl+f" function in Microsoft Word. I discovered that I used "It's funny" three times and "it seemed" twelve times. I also used "It was as if" twice. Ironically, with all of these phrases, I break a rule I taught: avoid using indefinite pronouns to begin a sentence, especially when there's no clear antecedent. That is, don't use "it" unless you and the reader know what "it" is replacing.

This search function is great in that it allows me to notice when I'm being repetitive. We all have phrases that we overuse, both in speech and in writing. When we're aware of those phrases, we can hopefully replace them with something more creative. ("Hopefully" is another one I overuse!)

Revision Fun

2012-01-16T17:16:00.004-05:00

Yesterday, my boyfriend introduced me to a beautiful, dark, and moody video game called "Limbo." I'm generally antagonistic toward video games, refusing to play one for more than 10 or 15 minutes. I quit "Portal" after a half-hour because it was giving me a headache. In "Limbo," you control a boy as he navigates a dark and dangerous environment. You can go forward and backward, jump, and pull and push things. Because there are so few options and because the action moves slowly, I played this game for almost an hour.

There's no music or dialogue, no moments of levity. But there are numerous opportunities to die: spikes, long falls, and giant piercing spiders (at least, I think they're spiders). I felt bad for killing the boy over and over again; luckily, each time he dies, the action rewinds to just before the unfortunate death. The death scenes can be gruesome, though there is an option in the menu: "no gore."

I was thinking how nice it would be to be able to go through life taking extreme risks, knowing that we could rewind if something goes wrong. How would that affect our behavior?

I'm in the process of revising my first draft. I'm going back to the beginning and trying to read it with fresh eyes. Today, I completely changed the beginning of the second chapter. I wasn't happy with it before--the writing was fine, maybe, but the content was off. I didn't realize how much until I reached the end. It's exciting, being able to edit with the knowledge that I can always go back to how it was; that the rest of the story and these characters' lives will still be in tact. This is one of the fun things about being puppet master to made-up people :)

(Picture from Limbo video game review, http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/video-games/7902760/Limbo-video-game-review.html)

Pop Cultural Literacy

2012-01-15T19:17:00.004-05:00

I've followed the Republican primary race so closely that I could tell you the difference between Bain Capital and Bain & Company. I could probably report three key points from each of the last three republican debates. There is less-than-zero chance I'll vote for any of them, so why the obsessive curiosity?

If you look at my browsing history, I probably visit Entertainment Weekly website as much as the New York Times website. When new magazines arrive at the library to be labeled before circulation, the first one I look for is Us Weekly. Then People Magazine. Then, maybe, The Atlantic Monthly or The New Yorker. Even though I don't watch it, I like knowing who was kicked off Dancing With the Stars. I like knowing that person's reaction as well as the viewing public's reaction. I read Chris Harrison's weekly behind-the-scenes blog from "The Bachelor" or "The Bachelorette" because I like to know what drama is going on.

I think my interest in the circus that is the republican primary is the same as my interest in the rest of pop culture: I like to know what's going on, what people are talking about. That way, if it comes up in conversation (the same thing goes for sports--I have fun surprising people with my knowledge of pro-football and baseball), I'm armed with statistics.

And Then I'll Do My Happy Dance

2012-01-14T14:41:00.005-05:00

I finished my book last week, somewhere in the 78,000 word range. It's bittersweet right now because I'm not pleased with the end. But it's there, it's typed, and now it can be moved around, embellished, and adjusted. This should be easier than getting it down in the first place.

While I was slogging through the middle, I could just confidently report, "Oh yeah, I'm writing a book! Har! Har!" But now I have this 260-page manuscript. It's it. It's the big thing I've been working on for over a year. And that confidence is on a shelf somewhere until I get the 78,000 words into the shape of something I'm proud of...

And then I'll do my happy dance.

As Creepy As It Sounds

2012-01-13T22:26:00.003-05:00

I read Neal Shusterman's young adult novel, "Unwind," over the past day and a half, and I highly recommend it. Like "The Hunger Games" and "Divergent," this story takes place in a dystopian future in which a second civil war has been fought between pro-lifers and pro-choice supporters. To end the fighting they settle on a "Bill of Life" that prohibits all abortion, but once a child becomes thirteen, he or she can be "retroactively" aborted ("unwound"). The child is taken apart, limb by limb, organ by organ, at a "harvesting center." Those body parts are then given to cure the sick.

It's as creepy as it sounds. The narrative shifts between a number of voices, from a teenage boy whose parents are having him unwound because he's always been trouble, to a teenage girl who was raised in a state home and is being unwound because her piano playing isn't exceptional, to another boy who has been raised his whole life to be sacrificed as a "tithe" because of his parents' religion.

I was reminded of Kazuo Ishiguro's "Never Let Me Go" in which children are raised for the sole purpose of giving themselves up, as young healthy adults, for organ harvesting. Both books ask, what does it mean to be human? to have a soul?

Winter, Finally Here

2012-01-12T22:52:00.002-05:00

By this point in January, we've usually had at least one snow day--I remember trick-or-treating in snow boots one year. But as most of you know, this Winter has been anything but Winter-like.

This afternoon, however, while the temperature hovered around 32, we were treated to an onslaught of giant snowflakes. Imagine a shaken snow globe and you'll get the picture. It was lovely and put everyone who didn't have to drive anywhere in a good mood.

Photo credit: wcpo.com winter weather gallery

Wearing Blinders

2012-01-11T19:59:00.003-05:00

ThinkProgress drew my attention to a short film by Adam Butcher called "Bradley Manning Had Secrets." The animated movie of 5.5 minutes uses the actual chat logs between Bradley Manning and Adrian Lamo, the guy who busted him. The conversations took place about a week before everyone learned his name. I recommend watching it. If nothing else, it humanizes and provides greater understanding of Manning.

I tend to wear blinders when it comes to the Obama administration doing things I don't like because I feel they've got enough people actively rooting against them. From dropping the public option to extending the Bush tax cuts, I've defended them and rationalized their decisions.

But some things this administration has done (notice, I still avoid holding President Obama personally responsible) in the name of national security leave me chilled, from the use of drones to the signing of the National Defense Authorization Act. The NDAA gives the president the power to indefinitely detain an American citizen. The fact that the President promised not do do so means nothing. He "signed the bill despite having serious reservations with certain provisions that regulate the detention, interrogation and prosecution of suspected terrorists." I must be naive when I think, If your reservations are so serious, then DON'T SIGN THE BILL!"

Trolling for Laughs

2012-01-10T12:46:00.003-05:00

Have I talked about my collection of troll dolls? Between the ages of ten and thirteen (correct me if I'm wrong, A!) every time I was dropped off at the mall, every time I found myself in a Hallmark store (which was surprisingly often circa 1991), I shelled out $7.99 or so for a new troll. When birthdays and Christmas came around, I also received a new troll. By the time I out-grew trolls, I think I had 45 of them. When I turned 25, my troll-buying partner-in-crime gave me all of her dolls, too.

I'm not sure what to do with them. They're not worth much on e-bay, and my mom often kicks herself for not holding onto some of her now-collectible memorabilia from her own childhood, so I'll probably keep them around a little longer. I'll get them out every once in a while to admire them and blow on their hair.

2012-01-09T16:37:00.002-05:00

In my first creative writing class freshman year of college, I received some good advice that I've held onto: If characters are talking to each other, have them doing something unrelated to their conversation. Inevitably, what they were doing will infuse the conversation, and their actions will seem to take on greater meaning.

We had an assignment to write such a scene, and mine was a man and his daughter, home from college for Christmas break, painting her new bedroom while talking about school. I had no idea where the scene was going to go, or what the mood was, but I quickly realized that it was tense and awkward. I then created the backstory in my head: her parents had recently separated, and her dad moved out while she was away at college. She'd come home, and her reality had shifted.

Our actions and silence communicate just as much as our words do. At least, I wish they did. I feel like I frustrate those around me with my silence. If only I had telepathic powers. Then I could zap my thoughts and feelings into people's heads. And I'm sure they would tell me, "Okay, you were better off not saying anything."

Stories

2012-01-08T19:46:00.002-05:00

I figured out the end of my story Thursday. After I finished revising the many pages my writing partner had so carefully critiqued (thanks!!!), I jumped to page 260 and realized what I needed to happen. The fact that the realization made me emotional suggests that it's the right way to go.

That isn't to say I'm certain it'll be good or that I don't suffer from near-crippling self-doubt. It's just enough to give me the motivation to keep at it.

Speaking of stories, Andrew Sullivan directed me to this online essay, Story Theory: Confessions of a Literary Darwinist by R. Salvador Reyes. After being moved by a Jackson Pollack painting, Reyes began to wonder why he was moved by art. He explores how humans had "come to love literature and art" and "how evolution has shaped audiences' responses to art." In a nut shell, he realizes that humans seek patterns; we need stories and narratives to make sense of the world around us. Stories help us remember and, thus, survive. The whole essay is worth reading.

Gutter Balls

2012-01-07T22:17:00.002-05:00

My boyfriend and I went bowling tonight, just the two of us. We showed up at a crowded bolling alley to find dozens of disappointed Bengals fans (we lost; it was lopsided). A lane was available only after a twenty minute wait. Now, we had never bowled together, so neither knew what to expect. I'm proud to report that I won the first game, with a grand total of 71 points. I lost the second game, even though I got 76 points--my boyfriend got almost twice as many points.

It was a nice change of pace from our usual evenings--movies, games, computers--in that it challenged our coordination and strength more than our minds. Actually, that would be pretty cool: controlling a bowling ball with my mind. Maybe I could even break 100!

Four Christmases

2012-01-06T22:32:00.002-05:00

My parents have been divorced most my life; my boyfriend's parents have been divorced most his life. All parents and new spouses live in the Greater Cincinnati area. Hence, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were spent driving up and down I-75 and around 275, going from one house to the next, opening one present after the next. Man was I exhausted by the end, already wondering how we could streamline this next year. Maybe host my own Christmas and invite everyone over? That could be interesting. Especially if I had to decorate. Or bake. Or both.

On second thought, driving around the city to open presents at different houses doesn't sound too bad.

Bittersweet Milestone

2012-01-03T09:48:00.003-05:00

I recently reached my goal of writing 75,000 words.

Unfortunately my celebration was short-lived; my story isn't finished. All this time, I've been using word count as a goal. When I was starting out, I looked at websites, at the novels I loved, and considered how long they were. Then I settled on a number--75,000--that made sense to me. Then I structured my story and its events with that number in mind.

I had wanted the chapter I'm working on--the chapter that got me over 75,000--to be my last. And part of me wants to tie everything in a neat little bow in a few telling paragraphs. I want to be finished! I want to go back to the beginning and start the revision process! I want to make it better from page one, not be stuck on the end!

But if I end it now, or in the next few pages, the book becomes very melancholy. Don't get me wrong, I love melancholy. I'm often melancholy myself. But I don't want the book, on whole, to be melancholy.

In the mean time, I'm going to keep writing. Even if the ending is different than I'd planned, even if I have to write another three chapters. Focus on telling a good story and, hopefully, everything else will fall into place.

By the way, I meet with my writing partner this evening, after a break of almost a month--I couldn't be happier. I've missed getting feedback and hearing a trusted voice saying, "This is good! Keep going!" or even "This needs work" or "This is unclear."

Flipping into the Playoffs

2012-01-02T09:28:00.003-05:00

The Bengals are in the playoffs! They didn't play particularly well yesterday; in fact, they lost. But enough other teams lost that it didn't matter. I'm just excited that they'll play one more game. The national reporters note that it's only the third time the Bengals have made the playoffs in the past eighteen years--but they don't mention that it's also the third time in the past seven, and the second time in the past three.

(Picture shows wide receiver Jerome Simpson flipping into the end zone during their December 23 win against the Arizona Cardinals. GIF Via Mocksession)

Writing Resolutions

2011-12-31T23:30:00.004-05:00

Starting today, January 1, 2012, I resolve to post something each day. It might be as slight as a 140-character tweet, or as long as a school essay. The subject could be politics, relationships, or writing itself. If I miss a day, I'll make up for it with two the next. Without setting clear goals and boundaries for myself, I get a bit lost sometimes. In the next few days, I'll fill you in on my struggles (excitement?) whilst finishing my book; my four Christmases in two days; my changes at work and what that could mean for my writing. I'll also look back at the year that just finished.

But for now I'll just celebrate the new year. Later today the Bengals play for a spot in the playoffs, and I'm excited to watch it with my grandma and father, who just safely returned from Kenya.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, Festivus--whatever you celebrate, if anything--and was able to spend it with people you love.

Another Milestone

2011-12-13T17:21:00.003-05:00

I just passed 72000. Eeee! I actually had to scrap about 2000 words--I'd written a scene, just to get it down on paper--in which the main character and another character sat in a Wendy's and have a conversation about what happened. Two hundred fifty pages of build up, and it all gets resolved in Wendy's. It felt good to write it, but it also felt good to erase it and write it again using feedback from my writer's group. Now it's creepier. More ambiguous.

“No matter how busy you may think you are, you must find time for reading, or surrender yourself to self-chosen ignorance.” — Confucius

2011-12-09T11:20:00.003-05:00

I came across this list of inspiring quotes on reading by writers. Here are a few of my favorites:

“If one reads enough books one has a fighting chance. Or better, one’s chances of survival increase with each book one reads.” — Sherman Alexie
“Reading is the sole means by which we slip, involuntarily, often helplessly, into another’s skin, another’s voice, another’s soul.” — Joyce Carol Oates
“There is no friend as loyal as a book.” – Ernest Hemingway
“Picking five favorite books is like picking the five body parts you’d most like not to lose.” — Neil Gaiman

I just finished Tatiana de Rosnay's book, "Sarah's Key." My manager inadvertently spoiled the ending, but I suppose I would have seen it coming. The story alternates between two time periods, the first being Paris, July 1942, during the Vel' d'Hiv Roundup. Nazis had ordered the French police to round up Jews--men, women, and children--and then ship them to Auschwitz for extermination. It's a horrible piece of history, one that I was only vaguely familiar with. The book successfully illustrates and personalizes this horror as an eleven year old girl narrates her experience.

Most of the story is set in the 21st century, as a middle-aged woman researches the Vel' d'Hiv for a magazine. Julia is American but has lived in Paris her entire adult life, having married a French man. As she researches the roundup, Julia discovers that most Parisians don't know about the roundup or, at least, would rather forget that it happened.

My mom can't read stories or watch movies about the Holocaust, and I've met a few people in her generation that feel the same way. It's too painful. Too horrible. But I think it's important to keep that shameful history close not only to honor the victims and survivors but also to recognize the evil that humans are still capable of.

My Latest Obsession

2011-12-05T17:25:00.003-05:00

"Breaking Bad," hands down the best drama I've seen in years. Bryan Cranston (the dad from "Malcolm in the Middle") plays a high school chemistry teacher living in the suburbs of Albuquerque with his wife and teenage son. Early in the first episode, Walter White is diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer. Knowing he only has two years, at best, and realizing that his wife and son (and unborn child) will be left with nothing, he uses his chemistry skills to team up with a former drug-selling student to cook meth.

Unlike marijuana, meth is a drug that few people argue should be legalized. We know meth is horrible and addictive; the people who manufacture and distribute this drug should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. Yet "Breaking Bad" is so well done that we root for drug dealers; we don't want Walt to get caught, and we want him and his partner Jesse to be successful.

After three seasons (the fourth isn't on Netflix yet), the characters continue to develop as Walter and Jesse become further embroiled in the violence that follows the drug trade.

* * *

Today's the anniversary of my accident. Like that day seventeen years ago, today is cold, gray, and rainy. I promise, no more jaywalking. On an unrelated note, I cracked 70,000 words today!

Merrily, Merrily, Merrily...

2011-11-30T18:39:00.004-05:00

I know adverbs are supposed to be bad. I've advised against them countless times. Use verbs and nouns whenever possible: they're stronger can can carry the weight of a sentence better than mere adjectives and adverbs.

But sometimes the adverb is so much easier! If I write "What's going on?" she said sleepily, you know exactly how she said it! I don't necessarily have to describe the whole scene or her body language in order to express that simple point: she was tired.

I didn't mention that it snowed yesterday. It must have been the first snow of the season. It was a cold rain when I left work last night, but by the time I made it home it was a fluffy snow that coated the grass. I was sad to see it gone in the morning.

Odds and Ends

2011-11-30T16:33:00.002-05:00

Insecurity can be quite the barrier. Lately I've felt like I don't have anything interesting or unique to offer on any subject. I feel insular.

It's November 30, the last day of NaNoWriMo, NaBloPoMo, and my own made-up NaNoFiMo. I'm 6000 words shy of my goal, but I offer the following excuses: working extra hours; celebrating Thanksgiving (so much turkey and football!); and feeling insecure about these final chapters.

Still, I'm ahead of schedule for my original goal of finishing in 2011. Even better, today's not over. Maybe I can knock out a thousand words.

By the way, my library has a contest each week. We write the first line of a book on a white board at the front desk, and if patrons identify the source material, we give them a cool bookmark. I've made a blog chronicling the ones we've done so far (I still have to publish fifteen or so): firstlinecontest.blogspot.com. Check it out and let me know if you have any suggestions!

Baby baby!

2011-11-22T16:31:00.003-05:00

Three or four years back, a ton of my friends were getting married. In the past couple years, some of these friends have started having children. And just this year, two of my oldest (duration, not age) friends have become pregnant. One, an awesome and lovely woman with whom I went to grade school, high school, and college, is due to give birth December 5th. In a strange coincidence, that date happens to be the anniversary of the day I was hit as Carleen and I tried to cross a busy road. I'm excited for that date to take on a new significance. Carleen and her husband have kept a blog journaling their first year of marriage and, now, their journey into parenthood. I recommend it.

My other friend, Nancy, was my roommate through all four years of college. It's only in hindsight that I see how much of a saint she was to put up with me! After college she moved back to California, and I couldn't have been more excited when she fell for a guy from Southwest Ohio and returned to the Midwest a few years ago. Nancy's four months pregnant and, like Carleen, I know she'll be a terrific mother.

Speaking of babies, mine isn't quite ready for the world. As you can see, I've colored in a few rectangles. Progress is being made. But I'm still a couple thousand words behind. Still, I'm hopeful to finish this month, allowing December to be revision month, and then January I can give my baby to beta readers.

So Bad!

2011-11-21T16:16:00.002-05:00

That's what I call the writing I've done today: So bad!!! With work and life and hesitation, I've managed to fall behind in my November word count goals. According to my lovely NaNoFiMo chart, I should be celebrating 70,000 words today. Instead, I started today a few hundred words shy of 66,000.

I'm writing an arraignment hearing, thinking the whole time, "This is horrible! Why am I even writing this? I should be trying to figure out how to avoid this scene!"

But I'm trying to take a cue from the brave writers of NaNoWriMo, pursuing quantity over quality. Marching toward their goal with the understanding that not everything will be perfect; when the month and contest is over, they can mine their words for useful pieces. Maybe it's just a couple sentences, maybe it's half. Heck, maybe it's most of it. But the point is, they can't worry about that during the contest. Self-doubt is the enemy, here.

I glance back at what I have written and want to erase it. It's so easy to hit backspace, to highlight hundreds of words and delete them with a single key stroke! But I'll leave it. Maybe there's a gem or two in there; at the very least it gets me closer to where I need to be--because I can't wait to have the whole thing written, to print it out and examine it from beginning to end. I keep thinking of balls I've dropped along the way--"oh, I never mentioned this detail"; "I should clarify these points"--and stop myself from going backward. Once I'm done, once I have those 75,000 or so words, I can look at those balls (there has to be a better turn of phrase, but I need to get back to work!)

Write! Write! Right?

2011-11-16T10:54:00.002-05:00

I'm behind on my writing goals: I'm just past 65000 when I should be heading toward 67000 today. I've been picking up a lot of extra hours at the library, and the commute drains me.

If I've taken a few days off from writing, it takes me a while to get back into the narrative voice and write with any kind of sustained flow. These last few chapters feel plot heavy. I'm trying to resolve everything in a satisfying way. But I much prefer writing characters who are wallowing. Not characters in court rooms with lawyers and judges and handcuffs. If I don't like writing it, my reader won't like reading it, right? Okay, I'm just going to plow through. Easier to revise when there's something written.

Anyway, no excuses. Write write write!!!

Progress

2011-11-09T18:12:00.004-05:00

I made a low-tech progress chart today for my made up National Novel Finishing Month (NaNoFiMo). From now through the end of November, I will fill in a block for every five-hundred words. Today involved some minor editing and revision based on the great feedback I received at last night's writing class. It's great hearing reactions from readers who aren't as close to the text as I am--and once they point something out, it seems obvious. But I know I wouldn't have found it on my own.

I also moved some pieces around. Between changing points of view and jumping around in the timeline, I was having trouble keeping track of when events took place. And if I, Puppet Master, was having trouble, then surely my readers would too.

The progress chart gives me the simple reward of coloring in at least one rectangle every day.

Turning Tides

2011-11-09T11:28:00.003-05:00

I heard something comforting on the Diane Rehm show this morning as they discussed the election results from last night: 2006, 2008, and 2010 were wave elections, Democrat, Democrat, Republican, respectively. In 2006, people didn't like what Bush was doing in Iraq or the direction of the economy, so Democrats swept in. 2008, the nation was ready for a Democratic president after eight years of President Bush. In 2010, following the rise of the Tea Party and reflecting discomfort over the growth of government (bailouts, national health care law) regardless of the merits of each piece of that perceived growth, Republicans took over.

But the problem was, according to a panelist on NPR, that "extremists" replaced politicians who might actually compromise, who would work to get things done. The replacements, both at a state and national level, were people who actually had a disincentive to compromise. They were rewarded by their respective parties for allegiance to ideology, not allegiance to the citizens they represent. But voters, the panelist argued, didn't want extremists or ideologues. They just wanted to send a message that they didn't like where things were headed.

The panelist also argued that 2012 will not be a wave election. We're not going to sweep left or sweep right. We're going to be an electorate looking for people who will actually get things done. But we are largely a conservative nation--we are uncomfortable with change that happens too fast. Look at the results from Ohio last night for evidence of that: Issue Two, which would have limited collective bargaining rights for unions, failed. Governor Kasich and the Republican-controlled state house had enacted that and, unsure of the ramifications, we said "Not so fast!" But Issue Three, which was a referendum on the American Care Act (it said that we cannot be forced to purchase health insurance in Ohio) passed. I had voted no--I want Ohio to support the President's efforts to insure all Americans--but I understand why it failed. Private health insurance seems like such a scam; instead of being mandated to buy their insurance, I would rather pay taxes into a national health care pool. But while the ACA is flawed, it's a move in the right direction: health care is a right, not a privilege; everyone, regardless of "pre-existing conditions" should have access to affordable coverage.

Anyway, I feel like the tides are turning. Call me naive or overly-optimistic, but with the threat of double-dip recession receding and unemployment dropping (even if only slightly), I bet this holiday season will be a good one. I think we're heading in the right direction. And #occupywallstreet and the President's consistent message of "jobs, jobs, jobs" of late have shifted the media and nation's focus from debt and deficit to growing our economy and reducing inequality.

Hope that wasn't too rambling :)

Everything Falls into Place

2011-11-05T22:33:00.003-04:00

After college, and during my two years of AmeriCorps and one year of grad school, I lived at home. Then I lived with a roommate for a couple years, and once she moved out to get married, I lived alone for the next few years. There were times when I felt sad or lonely, but more often I loved the solitude. I took care of myself. I paid my bills, changed jobs, made friends all on my own. And I felt a pride in doing so. I considered myself fiercely independent.

I'm living with my boyfriend now. It's been almost a year, actually, but don't tell my nana. It doesn't matter that I'm thirty-one. But my boyfriend is skilled in ways that I am not. He knows how to fix things that are broken, to change his own oil or flat tire. He tackles problems immediately rather than nudging them aside until they become so big they must be tackled. Then, of course, are his myriad computer skills.

And so I become dependent in unexpected ways. I get my oil changed in time because someone reminds me. I eat an actual dinner instead of the chips and dip I might have scarfed down, alone, a year ago. I pass up that second glass of wine. I get an awesome android smartphone because I know, now, that it's awesome. I don't have to figure it out for myself.

Some days I think, Once I finish the book, everything will fall into place! I'll figure out who I am and what I'm supposed to be doing. Whatever those answers, I'm very happy to be living with my boyfriend. It's wonderful having someone to come home to after a long day, someone who encourages me to keep writing when I want to procrastinate, and someone who makes me laugh and understands my dry sense of humor.

So I'm good. I'm more worried about my parents, my mom in Cincinnati and dad in Kenya. Her house was broken into Thursday afternoon; young men took televisions, jewelry, and cash. If they're brazen enough to do that in daylight, who's to stop them from coming back? And in eastern Africa, "Kenya has gone after al Shabaab, invading (sort of) Somalia to flush out this al quaeda affiliate. It is a big chunk to bite off, knowing that these shabaab guys are into revenge, kidnapping, retaliation and blowing things up." The US has issued a travel advisory for American citizens, and my dad's been cautioned to avoid Nairobi, particularly places tourists visit. For the most part, he's out of the city. But it's hard to stay away for long.

Tomorrow I'll go to my grandma's and watch the Bengals (they're 5-2!!!). Last week both my brothers came, which was a nice surprise.

Nanofimo

2011-10-31T20:25:00.003-04:00

Each November, participants in National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) attempt to start and finish a 50,000-word novel. According to the official website, 21 participated the first year, 1999. Last year, over 200,000 participated!

I first heard of NaNoWriMo a couple years ago. The library was involved with a number of programs supporting participating writers. Maybe someday I'll participate--writing so many words would force me to turn off my inner critic, right? But this year I've decided to designate November "National Novel Finishing Month." I have fewer than 15,000 words left--if a quarter-million can write 50,000 words in a month, surely I can write 5 chapters...

Good luck to all who are participating. I'm impressed by your ambition!

Crawling Under Tables

2011-10-25T09:13:00.002-04:00

This past Saturday was Books by the Banks festival in Cincinnati, and by all measures it seemed to be a huge success. I'll learn the final numbers later, but last year 3500 attended, and this year should be even bigger.

For most of the six hours the event went on, I was on the floor of the convention center, helping visitors find specific authors, letting people know when and where panel discussions were taking place, and assisting authors in my "area." This meant bringing them water or coffee, letting them know when their assigned lunch time was approaching, or pulling over giant mascots for pictures (my favorite task!) I also updated the Books by the Banks twitter feed throughout the day, which meant taking pictures of the crowd and authors and posting them online.

Because I was so busy all day, I forgot I was shy; that large crowds and new people scare me. I could just think about them--helping them, making sure they had a great experience--and not worry about my own neuroses. Maybe that's why I'm drawn to public service. While a part of me wants to crawl under a table and hide with my book (or notebook) I know I need to engage with others. If I'm providing service to others, that engagement becomes easier for me and I find that I actually enjoy it.

But to provide an example of the highs and lows of public service, a customer called me a "dingbat" yesterday. Seriously.

My heart still bleeds...

2011-10-13T17:39:00.003-04:00

Eeee! Crossed 60,000 words today!!! They're not all good--maybe none of them are, we shall see. I'm just proud of the accumulation of sentences. Word by word, sentence by sentence, I'm telling a story, one that's 80% finished!!! (Not counting revision and rewrites).

On an unrelated note, I just finished "Boomerang: Travels in the New Third World," a book by Michael Lewis ("The Big Short," "The Blindside.") In this short non-fiction book, Lewis travels from Iceland to Greece to Ireland to Germany and finally to California (where he rides bikes with Arnold Schwarzenegger), examining the causes and effects of the worldwide financial crisis. He talks to bankers, politicians, and finance ministers to try to understand how they got into such a mess (in the cases of Iceland, Greece, Ireland, and California) and how they avoided it (in the case of Germany, with some exceptions).

Lewis is a great storyteller, taking something that might be boring and dry and turning it into a compelling narrative. He approached each country as a journalist should--trying to understand it not through a preconceived framework but based on the facts he discovers. And because I discovered the facts along with him, as he told the story, I feel like I have a much better understanding of what happened. He looked at the culture of each country, too, to see how it related to its financial circumstances. From the New York Times review:

[Lewis]weaves... stories into a sharp-edged narrative that leaves readers with a visceral understanding of the fiscal recklessness that lies behind today’s headlines about Europe’s growing debt problems and the risk of contagion they now pose to the world.

It's a fascinating book that left me viewing the world through a more conservative lens. Two common threads across the countries? First, greed. It's omnipresent. Second, people taking more than they've earned simply because they can. Adults mortgaging their children's future in order to maintain a higher standard of living. It's not that I don't blame the elite bankers, who gambled with pensions and 401k's and manipulated the public; it's not that I don't blame government regulators who turned a blind eye so long as their coffers were filled; it's that at the end of the day, each of us is responsible for our own actions, for becoming as financially educated as possible. And I felt for Slovakia as it was being asked to bail out Greece.

Don't worry, my heart still bleeds (universal health care for the win!) but I feel like I have a better handle on where some of the tea party rhetoric comes from. My hope is that tea party-ers realize they're part of the 99%, too. (See Connor Friedersdorf's "Why the Tea Party and Occupy Wall Street Should Cooperate")

Thanks for Reading

2011-10-12T19:25:00.003-04:00

A week from Saturday will be the fifth annual Books by the Banks book festival in Cincinnati. Over one-hundred national, regional and local authors will appear downtown at the convention center to give talks, participate in panel discussions, and sign books. The "headliners" this year are Judy Collins, Dennis Lehane, and Chris Bohjalian, but I'm just as excited about less-familiar names, such as Martha Southgate, Dolen Perkins-Valdez, Christopher Bollen, and Matt Kish.

Matt Kish has always loved Herman Melville's classic, "Moby-Dick." About a year ago he decided to draw one illustration for each page of the book, and he kept track of his progress on his blog, everypageofmobydick.blogspot.com. By the time he finished, he had a publishing deal. The book was released in the past week, and there's been a flurry of press (helpful for us as we promote Books by the Banks!) I saw the book, and it's gorgeous. A real objet d'art. The price reflects that: $26 for the paperback, and anywhere from $44-$70 for the hardback.

On a related note, I've sketched out my final five chapters. To keep on schedule, I need to write about sixteen-thousand words in just over two months. I'm excited to finish, to read my piece from beginning to end like it's an actual book; to hand it off to readers I trust to tell me what works and what doesn't work; and to get to work on my next project.

Sorry for the dearth of posts lately. I'm certain that after the festival and especially after I've finished draft #1 I'll be here much more often. Maybe I'll participate in a blog challenge that will require daily posts. Who knows. But thanks for reading--life is good :)

Rules of Civility

2011-10-04T09:18:00.004-04:00

My first thought after I finished Amor Towles' novel, "Rules of Civility": This is what a novel *should* be. It was that good. Set in 1938's NYC, the book chronicles a year in one young woman's life when she makes choices that will set the paths of her career and social circle. The narrative voice, dialogue, and descriptions perfectly capture that era. I'm shocked that a) Towles is male, because the narrator, Katherine Kontent, is so finely drawn and that b) this is Towles' first novel. I highly recommend it.

I have the next two days off from the library and hope to knock out a good chunk of writing. This is the first time I've gotten to sit at my desk for more than fifteen minutes since last Thursday, and I feel so happy to be here!

Wax on, wax off...

2011-09-27T13:44:00.002-04:00

A week is too long between entries, so here's just a quick update:

My dad's back in Kenya. He just uploaded a picture of a giant grasshopper perched on his friend's hand; the grasshopper's name, appropriately, is Godzilla.
My other brother found a job. Yay!
I crossed 55,000 words today... while I'm excited to keep writing and to finish the book and revise it and submit it for publication, I'm a little anxious about what comes next. Try to get back to full-time at the library? Seek a better-paying job closer to where I live? Write another book? It's heart versus head.

Building a House from the Inside Out

2011-09-20T09:38:00.003-04:00

One of my favorite books from the past few years has been "The History of Love," by Nicole Krauss. I reviewed it for the library back in 2007, writing that the book

was one of those rare novels that captured me on page one then held me hostage from other activities—namely eating and sleeping—until I reached the final page. And once I was released, all I wanted to do was find someone else who'd read it and shared my experience.

The writing is exquisite, and the characters are fully-drawn. Consider the voice of one of the main characters, Leo Gursky: When they write my obituary. Tomorrow. Or the next day. It will say, “Leo Gursky is survived by an apartment full of shit.”

Both "The History of Love" and her next novel, "Great House," have multiple story lines; as a reader, I was never quite sure how they were (or weren't) going to converge. I had assumed that the plots were as intricately-drawn as her sentences.

So it was wonderful to hear her speak this past Friday night at my favorite local bookstore. Krauss, speaking so softly that everyone in the audience strained their necks forward (she also had to compete with a loud child downstairs), read an excerpt from "Great House." An older man addresses his son whom he had never completely understood. Even in a very short passage, with little context, the writing has an emotional punch. After the reading, she took some questions from the audience, and most were about her writing process.

For her, writing a novel is like building a house from the inside out. She starts by describing the doorknob. Then she needs a door. Then a room, then the rooms to which it is attached, and little by little she builds a house. She never knows exactly what the house is going to look like when it's finished.

In "Great House," she crafted four stories--set in New York, London, Israel, and Chile--without consciously knowing how the stories were related. She explained that because they all came from her mind, they must be connected, if only thematically.

Having my work-in-progress carefully plotted and outlined has freed me from some worry: I know where I'm going, and I know where my characters are going. But as a reader, I tend to prefer books driven more by character than by plot. I'll have to keep that in mind as I revise.

Milestone!

2011-09-15T19:08:00.003-04:00

Today, around 6:30pm, I surpassed 50,000 words (note the update on my progress bar!) Homestretch! Calls for a picture of an excited cat!

Illustration from Daily Haha

The Part Where Everything Comes Together

2011-09-15T10:57:00.003-04:00

Some days I'm just tickled to be a writer. By "be a writer" I mean, having the opportunity to sit at my computer and make up stories for hours on end. How lucky can a person get?

In class Tuesday, we were asked to do a fast-write about what still needs to be written in our respective projects. I wrote,

The final act, Act III, the part where everything comes together. Mysteries are solved, situations resolved, and loose ends are tied. In other words, everything.

I know what happens in my story. I know what my characters will do. I'm just incredibly psyched to be writing it now. Who knows how good or mediocre my final product will be--I know I have good pieces, good chunks of pages, but I won't know how well everything works together until the end.

* * *

Tuesday I finished reading Paula McLain's "The Paris Wife," about Hemingway's first marriage told from the wife's point of view. I haven't read anything by Hemingway except some of his short stories; McLain's novel made me want to read more of him, including "A Moveable Feast." Wednesday I started Jay Asher's "13 Reasons Why," a novel about what led a teenager to kill herself. Two weeks after her suicide, one of her classmates receives a shoe box full of audiotapes in which the girl describes her reasons for killing herself. It's a haunting young-adult novel, and I'm already two-thirds finished. I highly recommend both books.

Ultimate Justice

2011-09-13T10:36:00.003-04:00

Two chilling moments in the past two Republican debates:

1. Audience members, last Wednesday, cheer at the mention of the more than two-hundred individuals who been executed in Governor Rick Perry's Texas. Anyone who's followed the Cameron Todd Willingham case knows how flawed the death penalty system is in that state.

2. Audience members, last night, cheer and say "Yes!" as Wolf Blitzer asks Ron Paul if society should let an uninsured 30-year-old man in a coma die. (To his credit, Paul responded that charities should step in and cover his costs).

I'm trying to understand this lack of compassion. I hope for President Obama's re-election in 2012, but I know he's vulnerable. If it's not him, I hope for a President Romney or Huntsman, someone who won't fan the flames of blood lust.

Andrew Sullivan (a Reagan conservative) put it best at the end of one of his posts yesterday about the current state of the Republican Party:

If you ask why I remain such a strong Obama supporter, it is because I see him as that rare individual able to withstand the zeal without becoming a zealot in response, and to overcome the recklessness of pure religious ideology with pragmatism, civility and reason. That's why they fear and loathe him. Not because his policies are not theirs'. But because his temperament is their nemesis. If he defeats them next year, they will break, because their beliefs are so brittle, but will then reform, along Huntsman-style lines. If they defeat him, I fear we will no longer be participating in a civil conversation, however fraught, but in a civil war.

In the Company of Women

2011-09-07T13:34:00.001-04:00

The world of my work-in-progress is populated by females. Each has her own story, her own relationships, her own fears. In a lot of ways, it is the interaction and friendship between the female characters that propels the novel's action forward.

When I conceived of the book's idea, I imagined two females, one forty-ish, one a teenager, thrown into a difficult situation. Men are there--husbands and boyfriends, fathers and brothers--but they are most often on the periphery. And they are often selfish and negligent. This wasn't a conscious choice. In fact, I'd written over 30,000 words when I realized that readers of the book will think I hate men!

Of course, readers of this blog know that's not true: I think the world of the men in my life. But as a writer, I wanted to explore the bonds, spoken and not, between women. I wonder sometimes if men really understand how powerful those bonds are.

In my next book (!), I'll try to make my gender treatment more balanced. If I had trouble getting into the head of a fifteen-year-old girl, imagine the fun I'll have trying to see things from a thirty-year-old man's point of view...

"Oh _________________"

2011-09-04T16:22:00.003-04:00

For the third year in a row, I completed the Cheetah Run, a 5k race at the Cincinnati Zoo. While I improved on last year's time, I still didn't meet my goal of finishing in under 40 minutes. But this year, I had an excuse: I fell.

My friend and I had just passed the one mile marker. We rewarded ourselves by slowing to a brisk walk. Before I realized what was happening, I was on the cement, my knee and hands scraped and bloody, and I said, "Oh &#@$" (insert a word I only say while driving, stuck behind a slow driver in the passing lane, while running late). I immediately put my hand to my mouth and said, "I'm sorry!" A lady turned to me: "I'd have said the same thing." A few asked if I was alright.

We continued, disappointed that we'd been slowed and hurrying to make up lost time. Just past the second mile marker a volunteer noticed my bloody knee and offered aid. We paused, again, and tried to sterilize and bandage the scrapes. I'd say we lost at least two minutes.

Three years now I've run this race and said, "I'm going to really start training!" And every year I find myself walking more than I run. I love walking. I love taking my time outside and being able to have a relaxed conversation with my boyfriend, or whomever I'm walking with. I admire those people who train, who get up with the sun and jog most mornings. Sometimes I think I'd like to be one of those people. More often, I relish my extra hour of sleep and my evening strolls. Also, I'm far less likely to trip while walking.

In My Dreams

2011-09-01T13:48:00.002-04:00

I wake up some mornings thinking about my story. How pieces will come together. Clues that I need to drop earlier. Character traits I may have forgotten about. I've laid in bed for over an hour thinking about writing but not mustering up the will to get out of bed and actually do it. Strange, right?

But I've never dreamed about my story. My characters haven't acted independent of the words I've written for them. I wish they would, though. I would love to wake up some morning, having watched my characters play and fight and debate in my sleep. Maybe it would help me get started that day.

Still, I continue to make progress. I crossed 46000 words today (check out my nifty progress bar on the left!), and I've written more than 60% of my word-count goal. I'm incredibly excited about finishing it. I think only at that point, after the first draft is written, will I be able to see some of the holes. Maybe that will be the hardest part: revision, followed by the long and perhaps painful process of trying to get published. Eeee!!!

On Perfectionism

2011-08-30T21:06:00.005-04:00

We began our first writing class of the term by talking about perfectionism. Anne Lamott wrote in "Bird by Bird" that "perfectionism will ruin your writing, blocking inventiveness and playfulness." We were asked to do a seven-minute fast write on perfectionism and how it did or did not affect us as writers. Here's mine:

Would I call myself a perfectionist? Just look at my messy handwriting. My cluttered desk. My dish-filled sink. My three pairs of shoes laying about the living room. I'm not neat; I don't think everything has its place.

But then look at my writing--not the awkward loops and uncrossed t's but the words themselves. I try to make those as perfect as possible. Best words to convey the best ideas.

I'm a slow and deliberate writer, finishing 1500 words on the best days and 600 words on most. It might be a problem if I didn't make progress. If those 1000 words and 800 words and 1500 words didn't add up to one-hundred and fifty pages of carefully chosen words.

Could I write faster? Could I let go of my inner critic and get more words on the page? Maybe, but I don't know if that would be a good thing.

"It's a bird! It's a plane! It's... me?"

2011-08-28T18:21:00.003-04:00

I did something crazy. Yesterday, I paid money to jump out of an airplane that was 13,000 feet in the air. That's more than two miles. Luckily, I have the pictures to prove it, because I'm not sure I'll ever do something like that again!

A day's work

2011-08-25T18:40:00.003-04:00

Earlier this week I listened to a Diane Rehm show on NPR where she was interviewing author Laura Lippman. Before becoming a bestselling novelist, Lippman started out as a writer for a newspaper in Waco, Texas, where she covered local politics and wrote feature stories. After a few years she became a writer for the Baltimore Sun, where she also wrote many different kinds of stories.

In the morning, as a newspaper writer, she would be given an assignment and a deadline. Usually she'd have that eight-hour day to research a story and write it. She could never say, "Oh, I'm not feeling it today," or "The words weren't flowing." She had no choice. She applies that same work ethic to her fiction writing. Every day she sits down at her desk and gets to work.

My friend and fellow writer has a similar work ethic. Here she describes "approaching writing as [she] would approach a project in the workplace." She has a limited amount of time that she can work on her novels, and so she makes that time count, producing one or two chapters in a three hours.

Today was the first day I've tried to write since late last week. I wasn't sure where I wanted to go with a chapter, and I found myself staring at the open word document. Then I looked over at my keyboard--maybe if I played for a few minutes I'd find my muse? No, I needed to focus. Maybe if I visited the New York Times website I'd get some ideas? Checked out the latest Voices of August post at Rough and Rede? No, I know how ten minutes of web browsing quickly turn into an hour for me.

So I thought about my friend. I thought about Laura Lippman. I turned off the wireless network on my laptop so that even if I open my browser (which I did more than once), I wouldn't see anything. I would quickly close it, reminding myself to focus. I started writing--it was okay, not great--and just kept writing. Push through anything I thought was mediocre, knowing I'll be able to go back and revise. In all I wrote almost 1300 words. It was a decent pace that I can replicate.

My reward? Writing this blog post and playing the keyboard!

"Do you still play?"

2011-08-22T09:57:00.003-04:00

Representative Jean Schmidt--yes, that one--was a guest at my grandmother's 90th birthday party last week. She and her twin sister, Jennifer. Both asked me (not having seen me in more than seventeen years) if I still played piano: "You were so talented," they said.

I replied that I no longer played. After my accident, which seemed to erase the previous years of study, I never took piano as seriously. I still tinkered; I took a couple semesters of lessons in college; I played from the Reader's Digest Book of Christmas songs each December. But I never pushed myself to excel and get better like I had as a child.

A strange thing happened since my conversation with the twins: I got a new keyboard! It's a Yamaha, has 88 weighted keys, has a bunch of different voices and features that I don't understand. It is wonderful, and I love it. My boyfriend bought it as a combination birthday/Christmas/futurebirthday/futureChristmas present.

In addition to teaching him how to play (he plays guitar and played trumpet and other brass instruments in high school), I am pulling out my old sheet music. From Bach and Chopin to Carole King and Coldplay, I've spent hours at the keyboard since it arrived on Thursday.

Next time I see the Congresswoman, either at a protest at her office or my grandma's 100th birthday party, I can say, truthfully and happily, "Yes! I still play!"

Voices of August: Rough and Rede

2011-08-17T16:08:00.005-04:00

All month, a friend of mine has been hosting guest posts at his blog, Rough and Rede. Calling it the Voices of August, George Rede has invited people from his wide list of contacts to contribute pieces for each day of the month. From a woman poignantly describing her journey through despair and grief after losing her husband, to a principal-in-training reflecting on conversations about race and diversity in schools, I have been so impressed by the variety of topics and the intelligence and sensitivity with which they have been addressed.

Obviously I was honored when George asked me to contribute, saying I could write about anything from bowling and reading to a recent epiphany. I enjoyed the challenge of writing for a different audience and of having to write 600-800 words on a topic. My piece should be up Thursday. I encourage everyone to stop by Rough and Rede -- not for my essay so much as the other wonderful voices (George's included, of course!)

Losing Words

2011-08-10T09:21:00.003-04:00

In the past few days, I've lost over twelve-hundred words. This pains me, because I'm such a slow writer. A single paragraph is a small victory; a page, a large one.

I realized I had to combine two chapters and, in doing so, erase about four pages. Those words are cut and pasted into another word document, but for now they don't exist and probably won't exist in this book or future books.

* le sigh *

On a brighter note, I had a great birthday. Friday I went out to a movie with my mom, and that night to a Japanese restaurant with a bunch of my friends. Sunday I went over to my grandma's and had lunch with her, my dad and brothers. And the best news of the day, after months of searching and going on interviews, my brother got a job! It's full-time, with benefits! He'd been one of those long-term unemployed after losing his job at the airport early in 2010. Very happy for him.

A woman’s murder upends the lives of her daughter and best friend...

2011-08-04T15:23:00.004-04:00

Last summer, as I was getting started with my book, I skimmed a lot of "How to " articles. "How to write a novel." "How to create believable characters." "How to plot." And for the most part, the articles told me nothing I didn't already know either from school or experience. Most spoke in general terms about the elements that work together to create a dynamic novel. More than the "How to" articles, I got more help from writers on the web talking about their own experience. How did they deal with problems? How did they stay motivated?

The one exception for me was Randy Ingermanson's article about the "Snowflake Method". He provides a framework for developing a novel but encourages writers to figure out what works best for them. Start small, he says.

First, take an hour to come up with a tag for your novel: a one-sentence, fifteen-word description. It's the main idea for your book. The crux. You're thinking about the whole picture, without worrying about the thousands of details that will fill it in. He recommends looking at the New York Times Bestseller list for examples, such as Jennifer Weiner's "Then Came You": This timely tale delves into women's lives, with themes of class and entitlement, surrogacy and donorship. I think only established writers like Weiner can use the word "themes" in their tag. For "Before I Go to Sleep," by S. J. Watson: A woman's life is complicated by the fact that her memories disappear every time she falls asleep.

(The title of this post is my initial attempt at a short hook. Suggestions for improvement are welcome. I just like the word "upends" :)

Next, take an hour to write a paragraph-long summary of your novel. Obviously, details are going to be left out, but it forces you to think about the most important part(s) of your story.

The third step is to write for each of your main characters their name, storyline (one sentence), motivation, conflict, and epiphany. Then, for each of those characters, develop your one-sentence storyline into a paragraph.

Step four, turn your one-paragraph summary into a whole page. This requires you to think more about the different acts of your story and fill in the most important details.

Ingermanson's process goes on to describe steps five through eight. He suggests writing page-long description of each character. But until I got a sense of their voices and personality on paper, I didn't want to over think them. He also suggests creating an Excel spreadsheet of the scenes. However, that was too structured for me. I knew once I had the basic framework, and could imagine the piece as something that told a complete story over 300 pages, I was ready to begin.

Looking back at my notes from last summer, I see that I haven't strayed much from my initial outline. But the lines between those dots I'm connecting have gone in very unexpected directions.

"...the next time you turn on the TV and see yourself called 'overpaid'..."

2011-08-03T10:24:00.002-04:00

If you haven't seen it already, please check out Matt Damon's impassioned defense of teachers at a Save Our Schools (SOS) rally.

To loud cheers, he says, "I don’t know where I would be today if my teachers’ job security was based on how I performed on some standardized test. If their very survival as teachers was based on whether I actually fell in love with the process of learning but rather if I could fill in the right bubble on a test."

Bums, Bums, all of 'em Bums

2011-07-31T17:58:00.003-04:00

The past few mornings I've woken up with my stomach knotted over these stupid debt talks. I'm angry at how out of touch Washington is. I'm angry at the Congress. I'm angry that our president couldn't get a better deal even when public opinion is on his side. I'm angry that I'm wasting energy on this.

But this is where writing helps. At the end of August, I'll begin a new term of Women Writing for (a) Change. My previous three terms were filled with women of different backgrounds, writing for different purposes. Some wrote as therapy. It became a safe place to explore ideas and feelings. Others wrote to express themselves. Still others wrote because they enjoyed it. For most, I'm sure, it was a combination of those factors.

A few of us were working toward the completion of larger pieces; the class provided the support and encouragement to keep writing each week. To always have something new to share. When I took my first class, I had the draft of a chapter and a rough outline. Today, I'm more than halfway finished and feel the end in sight.

This next term I'm taking a "Mastery" class. We'll meet every other week, and I think each "student" is working on a longer piece. Also, it's co-ed. It will be interesting to see how that affects the dynamics of the class.

I've missed having that community this summer, I think more than I anticipated. To have those two-and-a-half hours blocked off where I have permission to focus solely on writing and on myself is indeed a luxury. It replenishes like nothing else.

Head-banging

2011-07-26T19:28:00.004-04:00

I feel like banging my head against a wall. No one outside of Washington cares about the debt and the politicking going on. The rest of us care about the deficit only insofar as it affects our nation's stability. We care more about the lack of jobs, the lack of pay increases and benefits. We care about education. We care about our neighbors and family, struggling to get by.

Meanwhile, I write.

Confessions of a Former TV Addict

2011-07-20T14:44:00.004-04:00

Some time around age nine, television supplanted books as my main diversion. I was finished with "The Babysitters' Club," "Sweet Valley High" and "The Secret Garden." In their place was "Thundercats," "Gummi Bears," and "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air." During summers, I watched "Another World" and "Days of Our Lives" (only the latter soap opera is still on; it's amazing how little has changed).

We didn't have cable, so my options were limited to the five or six over-air channels, but I memorized the programming on each of those stations. I even knew what was playing in Dayton, which was usually staticky, but came in handy when a Reds game was preempting my shows (this was long before I was a hardcore baseball fan).

Through junior high and high school, I wasn't a social creature; rather than my classmates, I hung out with Brenda, Dylan, and the gang from Beverly Hills: 90210 on Wednesday nights. I could easily watch four hours a night, doing my homework during commercials.

Luckily, I weaned myself off of heavy television-viewing during college; now, I mostly watch it streaming, over Netflix (we're currently on the second season of 30 Rock), just a half-hour a day, or Sundays at my grandma's, where we watch the Reds, some cable news, and HGTV.

Sometimes I think about all those lost hours. I could have read a couple hundred novels--or perhaps written two.

Review: "A Visit from the Goon Squad"

2011-07-12T08:32:00.003-04:00

I just finished Jennifer Egan's marvelous "A Visit from the Goon Squad," which won the 2011 Pulitzer prize for fiction. Like 2009 winner "Olive Kitteridge," Egan's book is made up of interconnected short stories that go backward and forward through time ("Time's a goon,"more than one character says.)

At the center of the novel are Bennie, a music producer, and his assistant Sasha. We see Bennie as a teenager during the height of San Francisco's punk scene, and later, as an old man, trying for one last success. We see Sasha, as a kleptomaniac 35-year old, as well as a nineteen-year old runaway. We also see, much more deeply than expected, the host of characters that populate their lives, that have influenced them and been influenced by them.

In fact, most of what we learn about Sasha and Bennie is indirect; these two characters are on the periphery as their friends, wives, and mentors tell the story. Each chapter is told in a different character's point of view (sometimes first person, third person, one in second-person, and another through power-point presentation slides).

As strong as the first chapter was, it took me a while to get drawn in to Egan's book. I didn't always feel compelled to move on to the next chapter. But once I began to see the connections between the characters and understand what Egan was doing, a momentum carried me straight to the end. The writing is sharp and the novel holds together less as a series of interrelated short stories and more as a complete novel with something to say about our lives.

Five Posts for the Price of One Click!

2011-07-08T15:28:00.004-04:00

I've started five posts today. Each got deleted because I didn't think I could adequately address the subject in two paragraphs.

The first one drew attention to an opinion piece about shyness in the NYTimes: "Is Shyness an Evolutionary Tactic?"

The second pointed out one of my favorite columnists of late, Ta'Nehesi Coates, a senior editor for The Atlantic. He blogs about everything from Jane Austen to immigration. And his posts have some of the most intelligent comments you'll find on the web.

The third was on the cheating scandal in Atlanta's Public Schools. The governor's report showed nearly 180 teachers engaged in some kind of cheating on standardized tests, from changing students' answers to facilitating cheating by giving students unauthorized assistance. Think Progress reports:

While uncovering this widespread cheating, the report also noted that these abuses were facilitated by a “culture of fear, intimidation and retaliation” that faced APS teachers and administrators, who were pressured to raise test scores and feared for their jobs if they protested these policies or even reported cheating. One excerpt from the report found that a principal forced a teacher under a table during a meeting because her students’ test scores were deemed unsatisfactory.

The fourth was on a revelation about President Obama's father:

Before Barack Obama was born, his parents may have considered putting him up for adoption, according to documents obtained by a reporter for The Boston Globe.

Mr. Obama’s father, Barack Hussein Obama Sr., told immigration officials that Ann Dunham, whom he had recently married, would make “arrangements with the Salvation Army to give the baby away,” one document said. [Obama, Sr., had to reapply for his Visa yearly].

The article in the New York Times indicated that President Obama had not previously known about his father's statement. I just imagine the President, worried about the job numbers, worried about Libya and debt ceiling negotiations, coming across this information. When does he have time to process it? To think about it? How does this fit in his narrative about his father? His own life?

I'm trying to remember the fifth post. That was going to be the awesome one, I'm sure. The most interesting and original.

I continue to write and revise and add details to my made-up story. I borrowed another writing book from the library, "The Writer's Digest Handbook of Novel Writing." It is a collection of pieces that had been written for "The Writer's Digest," with contributions from popular authors like Orson Scott Card, Lawrence Block, and Tom Clancy. They give advice on everything from dialogue and plotting to revision and selecting genre. David Groff wrote a chapter, "The Ten Essentials of Popular Fiction," and discussed the characteristics of a successful commercial ("popular") novel. I figured my own work would never cross over into the commercial category (I consider it "literary fiction," that is, "unpopular"), and Groff's words supported my assumption:

While this may surprise you, commercial fiction is always morally conservative. It doesn't matter how many Dirks bed how many Ambers, or how many KGB agents kill off innocent Berliners on the way to find CIA operative Tim Sheahan. A literary novel may, like a piece of contemporary music, be atonal -- and leave the reader feeling discord; but in a commercial novel the narrative ends on the tonic note, with balance restored and order reigning. The good doctor marries the actress, even though she has had to sleep with half of the Screen Actors Guild. The renegade Miami cop manages to blow up the drug smuggler's trawler before it docks in Tampa. In every case, the values and balance of the civilization are reaffirmed, at least temporarily.

He argues that works of popular fiction "are by nature optimistic." I don't know that I can do that. I'm generally an optimistic person, I suppose, thinking the best of people, often against my better judgment. But I'm also very guarded. Very careful and even tentative at times. And perhaps subconsciously, I'm using my novel to show that that "guardedness" is warranted. Life is complicated and messy, and I couldn't write with honesty by pretending otherwise.

I am Puppet Master!!!

2011-07-06T16:46:00.003-04:00

This year I'm part of the planning team for my library system's annual book fair. Every couple weeks we gather and discuss which authors to invite or, if the author has already submitted an application, whether to accept him or her. A few of the members have connections to publishing companies, so they are responsible for recruiting "big" names. But I've enjoyed being a part of this committee, emailing authors and looking at their websites and twitter accounts, seeing how they interact with their readers.

As more authors are confirmed and we approach the date of the event, I will help to promote the authors, their work, and the event on our website, Facebook, and twitter. I also notice that a lot of the authors have goodreads accounts, and I hope to utilize that as well.

Me, I passed 36,000 words today. I look back at my last entry, almost two weeks ago, and I'd hoped to have over 40,000 words by now. But I won't be discouraged. Next week I'll meet with my writing friend, get (and give) feedback. I still plan to finish by the end of this year, and that goal hasn't changed. On top of that, I figured out some important plot points -- I got tired of waiting for the characters to answer some questions for me, so I answered them myself! I am puppet master!!!

And maybe someday, in the not-too-distant future, I'll be asked to participate in a book fair or too!

Friday Odds and Ends

2011-06-24T14:32:00.002-04:00

I added a widget to the left from my goodreads account. It shows the twenty most recent books I've read, although I've added few reviews on the site. I'll have to rectify that. Most I've written about either here or for the library... and I can borrow my own content, right?

Anyway, I'm trying to get back into the swing of things, where I can write without thinking so much. I crossed over 35,000 words today -- still behind my original schedule, but not bad considering the number of hours I've been working. I'm feeling better about the story after a couple weeks of self-doubt that probably came from not working on it much. It also helped to read a few books that were really well-written and think, "Hey! I can do that too!"

And my dad is back in the U.S. -- yay! I know how bittersweet it is for him to leave Kenya, but it's so nice having all my family in one state, at least for a little bit. We're a small but mighty bunch.

Here's to a great weekend... and to passing 40,000 words by the end of June!

Reading Spells

2011-06-23T18:16:00.006-04:00

I go through spells where I read one book after the next, followed by long periods in which I read nothing but blogs and news articles. My book reading spells are correlated with greater happiness, but I don't know if I'm happy because I read books or if I read books because I'm happy. Either works for me.

In the space of four days, I finished two books I really enjoyed. The first is "Wench," by Dolen Perkins-Valdez. "Wench" follows four mistresses and their slave masters in the 1840s and 50s. The story focuses on Lizzie, who loves her master and has two children with him. Each summer the masters take their mistresses off their respective plantations up to a "resort" in Southwest Ohio (between Dayton and Columbus and north of Cincinnati). For the first time in their lives, they meet other black people who are not enslaved. Despite her special status, Lizzie begins to realize the freedom that she and her children lack. The book moves quickly, and I think it could have gone on for another hundred pages.

The other book I finished is "Divergent," by Veronica Roth. If you liked "The Hunger Games" (which I loved), you'll really enjoy "Divergent." It's set in a future Chicago (the Sears Tower is now called "The Hub") and society is divided into five factions, each of which values a different virtue: Abnegation, Dauntless, Amity, Erudite, and Candor. Beatrice, the protagonist, has been raised in Abnegation; members of this faction value selflessness above all else. They dress in plain gray clothes, eat plain food. and leave the walls of their homes unadorned. They serve and defer to others. At age sixteen, based on an aptitude test, boys and girls must choose which faction they will join for the rest of their lives. Most stay with the one in which they were raised, but if they choose another, they are basically excommunicated from their families. Beatrice's choice affects everyone in unexpected ways. She is a strong young female character, and she guides us through the story in first-person present. Like "Wench," this a quick read. But this one ends in a cliffhanger. The sequel, "Insurgent," comes out next year, and I wish I didn't have to wait so long.

Avoidance

2011-06-16T19:40:00.003-04:00

I don't believe in writer's block. I believe we sabotage ourselves, we avoid writing, or we stumble for reasons that hide in our subconscious. If I can't/don't write, it's probably because there's something that isn't working in my piece; I need time away to gain perspective, to figure out what that problem is.

With my novel, I'm slowly getting back. I worked on it a bit yesterday and today, removing a part that had made me uncomfortable, adding more of the teenage character's voice. I think the more I write from her perspective, and the closer I get to her head, the more I'll understand and empathize with her. I'm working extra hours of the library, so I have significantly fewer "writing" days; I need to learn how to make those days count.

As for the blog, I've avoided it because I didn't want to sit down, open up a new post, and realize I have nothing to say. But today I relaxed. Decided I needed to write something, even if it was just about my little struggles.

Tennessee (in pictures)

2011-06-06T21:42:00.014-04:00

Our chalet in Pigeon Forge was a short distance from the many buffets, souvenir shops, and amusement parks that line the street leading (eventually) to Gatlinburg. But the view from the back didn't suggest any of that.

My boyfriend and I arrived Friday afternoon; his dad and step-mother (and her mom, 83-years old) were already there, and his sister, her husband, and their two daughters got there just after the pizza that evening.

Saturday, the nine of us headed into Gatlinburg. We rode up the Ober Gatlinburg then took a chairlift even higher (and for another $7) to get better views.

(As usual, I got carried away with the panorama function on my phone.)

That evening, all of us (minus 83-year-old Hilda) went to the Dixie Stampede. I should say, Dolly Parton's Dixie Stampede. After a 45-minute warm-up act by a blue grass trio playing everything from "She'll be coming 'round the mountain" to "Sweet Home Alabama," we were herded to an arena where we sat in rows and were served a four-course meal sans silverware. This included a Cornish Game hen.

Pictures weren't allowed once the show started, but I did get a couple before and after:

There were horses and chicken races and buffalo and lumberjacks and singing (including a giant image of Dolly Parton telling us in song that America is beautiful). My favorite part? When Scarlett O'Ham-a won the piglet race. Those piglets were pretty cute.

The next day my boyfriend and I headed into the Great Smoky Mountain National Park to do some hiking, the Alum Cave Bluff trail. We had to hold on to a cable as we walked up these narrow stairs through the bluff:

We went a little nuts on the trail with another cool function of my camera, the "action shot." Hit the shutter once and it snaps a picture whenever something in the frame moves:

The hike took a little over two hours. After that we found the only Indian restaurant in Pigeon Forge (a buffet!) and then went on... a helicopter ride! For a small fee, a pilot flew me and my boyfriend, as well as a man and his young son, over the Douglass Lakes for about twenty minutes. I'd never been in a helicopter before, so it was a pretty cool experience. I asked if we'll be that high up when we go sky diving this summer; my boyfriend replied, "We're probably at 1000 feet now; we'll be at 10,000 feet when we jump." (Dad, did I mention I'm going sky diving?)

Each night (three in all) we saw the sun set behind the mountains in back of our chalet (I'll miss being able to use that word). I probably took sixty pictures of it in all, but my favorite came the last evening:

Quickish Hits

2011-06-02T09:01:00.003-04:00

This past weekend I attended "Crawl for Cancer" in Columbus. For a $40 entrance fee, I received a tee-shirt and a lot of beer. From 1pm to 5pm, the ten of us received four pitchers of beer at five separate bars--if we were dividing equally, that would be two pitchers of beer per person.

Long-time friends and readers know I attend a wine tasting most Fridays. I hang out in a grocery store and, over the course of two hours, drink five 2-oz samples of wine. That's two regular glasses of wine. While eating. That's not much. And except for the occasional glass of wine or mug of beer with dinner, that's all the drinking this thirty year old does.

I guess that's my way of explaining why I stopped drinking midway through the fourth bar as I discretely threw up in my plastic cup.

Regardless of the outcome, it was a great event for a great cause. It was a beautiful day in Columbus, and I was impressed by the area.

Tomorrow my boyfriend and I leave for Pigeon Forge, Tennessee for a four-day, three-night trip. His parents have rented a chalet, and we'll be staying with them, his sister and her husband and two daughters. I'm crossing my fingers for great weather so we can get outside :)

Last Week = A Wash

2011-05-24T11:38:00.001-04:00

Last week was a wash, and I’m not talking about the rain. Three weekdays off work, and I spent more time watching “Veronica Mars” than working on my book. It wasn’t for lack of effort – I stared, I tried out paragraphs, I edited, I researched, I reread portions – but the words weren’t flowing.

I’m torn between espousing the merits of the wonderful “Veronica Mars” and complaining about my struggles. I think, ultimately, it’s better for me to figure out why I’m having trouble, so I’ll save Veronica for another day.

I mentioned a few weeks ago that I was adding another point of view to my work-in-progress. I had been telling everything through a narrator who could only see through one character’s perspective. Eight chapters later, I realized that the story would improve by getting the perspective from another important character. It wouldn’t be too difficult, I thought, to insert chapters from this other point of view.

I’ve written two and am halfway through a third. But I’m struggling with the voice; it’s still third person, but now it goes inside the head of a teenager. The forty-year-old woman was easy compared with this fifteen year old.

I’ve said, mostly joking, that I hate teenagers. They’re loud, impulsive, and squirrely. They made me uncomfortable even when I was one. I don’t understand them—and I need to in order to write from the perspective of one. I don’t want to simply write a character who’s “wise beyond her years.” Obviously I’m generalizing here, and part of my solution will be to create someone who has her own traits, her own interests. Maybe I need to take time to write a character sketch, to write her diary entries. Maybe I need to know her better before plopping her in my fictional world. I think I’ve avoided doing that because I know the plot.

There ya go. That’s what I’ll do. I doubt I’ll reach my 40,000 word goal by the end of May, but I’ll try for 50,000 by the end of June. That will give me a little more breathing room.

The Value of Education

2011-05-18T15:46:00.004-04:00

Researchers from NYU

followed the progress of several thousand students in more than two dozen diverse four-year colleges and universities. [They] found that large numbers of the students were making their way through college with minimal exposure to rigorous coursework, only a modest investment of effort and little or no meaningful improvement in skills like writing and reasoning.

They point out that resources at college are increasingly directed toward fitness centers and sports complexes, not on academics. They also argue that

[t]he authority of educators has diminished, and students are increasingly thought of, by themselves and their colleges, as “clients” or “consumers.” When 18-year-olds are emboldened to see themselves in this manner, many look for ways to attain an educational credential effortlessly and comfortably. And they are catered to accordingly. The customer is always right.

Who's to blame, here? It's easy to point fingers at the students. After all, it is their responsibility to take advantage of their classes and instructors, to make their learning meaningful. While I often questioned my own skills as a teacher, I reminded myself that students will get out of a class what they put into it: I can't open up a student's head and deposit knowledge into it. And I regret that I didn't make the most of my own undergraduate experience: while my grades were good, I rarely put 100% into my studies. If I could get away with not reading the text, I would. But then I might have missed out on watching "Pulp Fiction" at 4am, or traipsing across campus at midnight for Taco Bell.

There was never a question of whether I would go to college, and I didn't think twice about the price of tuition, or student loans, or choosing a practical major. The four years I spent there would help me transition from a shy little girl to a more confident person with a degree. I know without a doubt that my learning there was meaningful and essential.

But considering the rise of for-profit colleges and the increase of high school graduates going on to college (and taking out huge loans to pay for it), the lack of value suggested by the NYU researchers should give all of us pause.

Great Weekend

2011-05-16T09:40:00.004-04:00

Friday night I went to a Reds game to see the first in their series against the Cardinals. Here was my view for much of the game:

But with the game tied in the tenth, he and his intoxicated posse left, I had this great view:

The Reds won with a Joey Votto single in the bottom of the tenth and went on to win Saturday and Sunday, sweeping the series and taking the lead in the central!

Last night we headed again downtown to Cincinnati's Music Hall to see The National play. The band members grew up in Cincinnati but are now based in Brooklyn: this was sort of their homecoming. (Side note: when I graduated high school, we had our ceremony in Music Hall!) Anyway, it was a great show. My only concern was the amount of wine the lead singer was drinking; his stumbles increased throughout the show, even requesting to start one song over. Is it strange that I worry about this stranger?

I'm rarely off work on Saturdays, so weekends don't often have the same charm they did when I was a student. My days off are usually Tuesday and Friday--Saturdays are requested a couple months in advance. But this weekend, even though I worked Saturday, was pretty great.

Tough Out There

2011-05-13T14:24:00.002-04:00

The other day a man came into the library. He's been in a few times, always to use the computer, always to apply for jobs. The first time he came in, he was trying to apply to a grocery chain. As he answered page after page of questions, he kept getting error messages. He entered something incorrectly by leaving a space in an email address, or he left something blank. Finally his time would run out and his session would end, automatically, and he'd lose all the information he had spent an hour entering. When he started over, I helped him create a name and password, in case the same thing happened.

A week or two later, back at the computer, he was applying for a different job. It was janitorial. He was stuck on an early part of the application process, where it asked him to upload a resume. He didn't have a resume, let alone one that he could upload. I suggested the free workshops that the library offers at our main branch to help write resumes; he didn't ask for any details, but I hope he follows up on it.

He was extremely kind, and even more patient. I feel bad that jobs that have nothing to do with computers have this extra technological barrier. But it's tough out there--people who are very computer literate and college-educated are competing for many of the same jobs as others with only a high school diploma. (That isn't to say that a college degree is required for computer literacy--I know many, both of my brothers included, who are more savvy on computers than their educated counterparts!)

Your Happiest Moment? Your Saddest?

2011-05-10T13:22:00.002-04:00

My boyfriend asked me these questions yesterday evening, and I had no answers. First of all, I'm not good at serious discussions after sunset. My mind is settled on more pressing issues, like "Who got kicked off American Idol?" and "Is it late enough to go to sleep yet?" Second of all, they're not easy questions.

But today, the sun is out and I'm fully imbibed with caffeine. My mind returns to those questions, and I wonder: Do most people have their happiest moment crystallized in their heads? Is it a vacation? a birthday? a first kiss? Likewise, their saddest? A death? A break-up?

I worry that I missed my happiest moment; I failed to record it in my mind as such and now cannot retrieve it. Was my happiest moment playing cards with new friends my freshman year of college? Was it touring Giverny, France, with my father at age 23? Or was it earlier? Designing obstacle courses or building pen museums as an eight-year-old? Was it sitting on my grandmother's lap watching Lawrence Welk? Or lying in bed as my mom told me stories?

Or maybe it hasn't happened yet; maybe that moment is still to come. I'll try to be more vigilant and catch it when it does.

Carrying Memories

2011-05-05T09:52:00.004-04:00

Story Corps is attempting to record a story for each of the nearly three-thousand victims on September 11, 2001. A wife or child, for example, describes that day, her emotions, and how she carries forward. Or he might describe their last conversation. The first one I heard on NPR was three or four years back; I was driving to school to teach a Composition class and showed up with red eyes. A little boy had described his grandfather who'd perished in the twin towers.

This morning I cried as a woman described being on the phone with her husband, 9:30 that morning, as he attempted to find an escape route. When the smoke became thicker, and his fate became clear, the two stopped talking about escape routes. She said she wanted to crawl through the phone line and lie with him, and he told her that she needed to keep on living for the two of them.

I didn't cry on September 11. It was too big, too abstract. I was 21 and so worried about our retaliation--who were we going to bomb, what innocents were going to die--that I'm not sure I processed the individual tragedies here at home.

But each of those victims--in the twin towers, the pentagon, Flight 93, Iraq, Afghanistan, and elsewhere--has a story. Nearly ten years later, I think I'm better able to grasp these losses. And I take comfort in thinking that someone who loved them carries their memory; shares it. So far, Story Corps has over one-thousand stories of September 11 victims. What an important treasure.

Maybe Things Change

2011-05-03T15:30:00.004-04:00

I got up early this morning to get downtown for an 8:30 meeting. It took me an hour to make the twenty-mile commute. And while I want to complain about the traffic, the slowness of drivers in the rain, and the fact that I spent more money on gas today than I did on parking, I'll instead thank NPR.

Driving is always better when I get to listen to Morning Edition. Its intelligent reporting and insightful analysis are especially valuable after something like bin Laden's death occurs.

Maybe his death doesn't change anything. Maybe Al Qaeda is as strong today as it was April 30th. Maybe the troops won't come home from Afghanistan any earlier than they would have.

But maybe it does--and that's my hope.

** A Few hours later; I thought I'd add to this rather than do a new post. I've had a really sticky day writing. Everything's come out forced and fake-sounding. I finally moved on to another piece I'm revising for a read-around at my writing class tomorrow evening. Blargh. I'm ready for some sunshine. 40,000 by the end of May will be tough at this pace!

A to Z Challenge: A Look Back

2011-05-01T22:30:00.002-04:00

First off, thanks to the organizers of the challenge for keeping us connected and motivated. Visits to my little blog more than doubled throughout April. And you weren't just lurking, you were reading and commenting. I greatly appreciate that. Thank you, thank you, thank you - and over the next few weeks, I hope to spend more time visiting and commenting on more of your blogs.

Writing every day in April (except Sundays) was more challenging than I'd expected. I'm accustomed to blogging whenever I want, about whatever I want. Suddenly I had to write about "g" words and "x" words! Some days I couldn't wait to write; others, especially days when I worked eight hours, I dreaded having to do it. I have a greater respect for those who work full-time and are still able to make themselves blog with gusto on a regular basis.

I'm looking forward to being able to write whatever I want this May. But even with the letter "restrictions," I kept to the themes I'd always visited: writing about writing, writing about family and childhood, writing about interesting words and pictures.

My friend George, inspired by our challenge, decided to make May musical, every day writing about a different band beginning with the next letter in the alphabet. Today, May 1, check out "A is for The Allmand Brothers Band." Best of luck, can't wait to see what you come up with for Q!

Z is for Zealous

2011-04-30T12:25:00.001-04:00

Are your characters zealous? Do they want things and go after them? Are they enthusiastic?

My work in progress is told in 3rd person limited. I like my main character: she's smart and sensitive. But I realized that I hadn't revealed enough about OTHER important characters, in part because my main character wasn't active in that sense.

To balance that, about a month ago, I started writing from another main character's point of view. This one has more zeal. Enthusiasm. Initiative.

Tomorrow or the next day, I'll write a reflection on this blog challenge. (I'm currently on my lunch break, composing on my phone!) For now, thanks for stopping by!

Y is for Yesterday

2011-04-28T21:41:00.005-04:00

Yesterday was another rainy day, but the sun broke through enough times to create some awesome skies.

Just outside the condo, a double rainbow! And then we went to the park. It was cold and rainy, but the sky was awesome. We could still see the bottom of one of the rainbows, but I'm not sure if it came through in the panoramic shot.

By the way, I reached my word-count goal yesterday around 5pm. I now have 30,009 words in my work in progress! I plan to have 40,000 by the end of May.

X is for eXpectations

2011-04-28T09:42:00.002-04:00

I know, I know, I know. A horrible cheat. But I remember as a kid, that alphabet choo-choo train surrounding my room, and feeling annoyed that "X" was always "Xylophone." Obviously "X" can represent the "Z" sound at the start of a word, but a child learning his or her letters is much more likely to encounter an "X" at the end of a word -- "Max," "relax"--or inside of a word--"exciting," "exit." The "x" there isn't the "z" sound but "ks." At least, that's my logic in doing expectations instead of xenophobia.

My goal this month is to reach 30,000 words. I'm raising my own expectations for what I can accomplish in a day or a week. It had taken me five months to write my first 10,000 words, and less than two months to write my second 10,000. Now, I have until the 30th to get from 28,226 to 30,000 - this would be far less daunting (to me) if I didn't have work all day Friday and Saturday. So instead, I'm going to raise my expectations once again to write those 1774 words today. I know it doesn't seem like a lot, just six double-spaced pages. But it's more than I've written in a day since undergrad, when I had an 8-10 page paper due in twelve hours and I hadn't slept.

There's that saying: Shoot for the moon - even if you miss you'll still be among the stars. I always thought that was kind of hokey, but I think it's relevant here. Always push yourself. Always strive for better, for more. The success is in the striving.

W is for Watching

2011-04-27T10:19:00.002-04:00

As a child, I was especially fond of corners. On the school playground, where two chain-linked fences met at a 90-degree angle, I crouched and watched—who played with whom?—who teased whom? I catalogued their gestures and their strange and natural ways of speaking. Everything for them seemed so spontaneous, and this fascinated me. I was too shy to join them, but by observing and recording, I shared in their experiences.

This is what watching became for me—a way to participate. Years later, writing serves that same purpose.

V is for Verisimilitude

2011-04-26T14:05:00.002-04:00

Verisimilitude is one of those words I've read or felt I understood, but never really knew the definition. I see "verisimilitude," and I think "very similar."

But the dictionary definition is more precise: the appearance or semblance of truth, as in "The play lacked verisimilitude." (Had I studied Latin, I would have noticed verum=truth, similis=similar).

In fiction, writers give their stories verisimilitude, for example, by crafting realistic dialogue and by using specific details to describe a setting. Verisimilitude makes it easier for a reader to suspend disbelief and enter a made-up world. That doesn't mean that all fiction has to be grounded in real life's messiness. Growing up, I loved reading Ray Bradbury's "Martian Chronicles," set in the future, and Jean M. Auel's "Clan of the Cavebear," set in the past. For a great post on the different kinds of verisimilitude in fiction, check out http://writingandliterature.wordpress.com/2009/12/30/verisimilitude/.

Here's a challenge: use "verisimilitude" in a sentence and not sound pretentious!

U is for Umbrella

2011-04-24T22:11:00.005-04:00

If April showers do, indeed, bring May flowers, then Southwest Ohio is due many flowers in a couple weeks. Every day, it's rain. This post is an ode to my favorite umbrella. It had been a gift from my mom -- I had requested an "artsy" one. She picked out a neat umbrella with the image of Caillebotte's "Rainy Day,"and I loved it until it was lost in Wilmington, North Carolina (I let someone borrow it; argh).

The forecast for the next week calls for lots and lots of rain. On the plus side, the grass is really green.

Side note, not A-Z related. Today I visited my grandmother for Easter. She had given up candy for Lent, and at 1:30 Sunday morning, she bit the head off a chocolate bunny. Ha, she deserved it :)

T is for Thinking

2011-04-23T09:54:00.006-04:00

I know, I know, the "Th" kind of ruins the awesome alliterativeness of the challenge. But clearly I've been doing too much thinking. For the second morning in a row, I've woken up while it was still pitch dark outside, and haven't fallen back asleep. My mind circles the characters in both the novel I'm writing and the novels I'm reading.

Thursday I finished "Cutting for Stone," by Abraham Verghese. It's long--six-hundred pages--and sprawling. It travels from the Yemen in the 1940s to New York in the 1980s and Ethiopia in the 2000s. The story is told from the point of view of Marion, half of a pair of identical twin boys born to a Catholic nun under mysterious circumstances. Verghese is a doctor, and this is his first novel. The book is well-written with fully-formed characters, and you can tell that Verghese wishes to fit their entire world within the pages of the book.

Another book I'd started a week or so ago, "The Uncoupling," by Meg Wolitzer, is very different in tone and theme. Her story takes place in a New Jersey suburb that is considered livable and progressive. But a spell comes over the town one winter causing the women (of all ages) to lose any desire for men. We jump points of view, learning the stories of the women, and see how this spell affects them. I'm two-thirds through the book and fully engrossed in the characters. Not unrelated, the school (to which all the women are connected) is set to perform the Greek play "Lysistrata," by Aristophanes.

I recommend both books.

S is for Six

2011-04-22T08:40:00.003-04:00

Six minutes before I have to leave for work, so I'll try listing a quick six random things about myself.

1. In 2009 I visited Australia for the first time and France for the third time. I love traveling and wish I had the time and money to do more of it.

2. I went to a creative arts school from 7th through 12th grade. We auditioned as 11 and 12 year olds to decide our majors. I scored 9/10 in art, and became an art major, while I only scored 4/10 in creative writing. Irony is awesome.

3. I love baseball and the Cincinnati Reds. My grandfather played minor league ball and probably would have been tickled that my brother and I enjoy it so much.

4. My favorite subjects in high school were math and chemistry. I tested out of those classes in college, instead taking more arts classes. I often wonder what would have happened if I pursued the sciences.

5. My younger brothers are straight edge. No drugs, no smoking, no alcohol. Me, I go to weekly wine tastings. Love me a good malbec or cabernet sauvignon.

6. When I was 9 I got on the wrong school bus home (first day of 4th grade). I was too shy to tell the driver so I got off at the first stop and started walking.

R is for Reading

2011-04-21T09:16:00.002-04:00

According to my mom, I started reading when I was four years old. From then on, I always had a stack of books at my bedside. I read everything from the classics ("Charlotte's Web" by E.B. White and "Bridge to Terabithia" by Katherine Patterson) to popular series by Ann M. Martin and R.L. Stine. [Side note: What is with authors and initials?]

But even though I was a reader, I wasn't much of a writer during my teen years. While I could craft decent sentences and could spell (more important in the years before word processing programs became the norm!), I didn't consider myself a creative writer.

Luckily, I kept reading. Even though I wasn't writing stories, I was internalizing the shape and language of novels. Today it feels like a gift--trying to emulate these authors I've loved yet developing my own ideas, my own style.