"Education is the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty"

~ Mark Twain

"Suck it up," my grandmother said once when I was complaining about all the things I had to do. She didn't say it meanly; she was rather matter-of-fact. And knowing all the sacrifices she's had to make -- all the times she's had to "suck it up" -- makes me feel sheepish.

I'm back at the wall. Behind it, with me, I have the life I've built. It's relatively comfortable and often fulfilling. But I know with greater and greater certainty that I don't want to be behind this wall in five years. I feel like I have been sucking it up for years.

This wall is not about happiness (which is overrated); it's about drive and motivation, passion, creativity, among many other things that have been sucked up.

Five years from now: The recession will be over, Obama will be well into his second term, and I will be... where? And how do I get there?