I bought a new phone.

My old one was great but... the GPS was unreliable and it didn't have a flash for pictures and my number had a Kentucky area code....

My two-year contract was up. I could have stuck with my current phone company and kept my old phone, or signed with a new one and get a great deal on a new super-smart phone. New won.

I feel a bit weird about it now, away from all the websites touting its great features, away from the ease of ordering a new one with a few clicks. I'll need a new battery for my car, soon. I hope to take a vacation this March or July. I have other things I could/should spend that money on. Oh well. Hopefully I'll have the new one for a while, at least until my new two-year contract is up.

S is for Six

Six minutes before I have to leave for work, so I'll try listing a quick six random things about myself.

1. In 2009 I visited Australia for the first time and France for the third time. I love traveling and wish I had the time and money to do more of it.

2. I went to a creative arts school from 7th through 12th grade. We auditioned as 11 and 12 year olds to decide our majors. I scored 9/10 in art, and became an art major, while I only scored 4/10 in creative writing. Irony is awesome.

3. I love baseball and the Cincinnati Reds. My grandfather played minor league ball and probably would have been tickled that my brother and I enjoy it so much.

4. My favorite subjects in high school were math and chemistry. I tested out of those classes in college, instead taking more arts classes. I often wonder what would have happened if I pursued the sciences.

5. My younger brothers are straight edge. No drugs, no smoking, no alcohol. Me, I go to weekly wine tastings. Love me a good malbec or cabernet sauvignon.

6. When I was 9 I got on the wrong school bus home (first day of 4th grade). I was too shy to tell the driver so I got off at the first stop and started walking.

What Would Jerry Tweet?

You wonder what Seinfeld would have been like were it set today: its main characters (despite Kramer's shenanigans and George's bouts with unemployment) seemed relatively well off. They would have smart phones; they might even text and tweet. At the very least, they wouldn't have had so many miscommunication and misunderstandings. I can imagine them having fun making fun of the new set of codes that have arisen with social media.

I love the Swedish subtitles.

And I am a Snake Head

Many of us would-be hipsters go through a They Might Be Giants stage: late teens, early twenties, we go to their concerts, we buy their tee-shirts, we phone up "Dial-a-Song." Their nonsensical lyrics speak to us.

When I found out that yesterday's date, 01-02-2010, was a palindrome, the band's lyrics came rushing back: I am a snake head eating the head on the opposite side... (Snake head)...

I'm reminded that not everything has to have a deeper meaning. Maybe part of what makes TMBG so enjoyable, especially for people of a certain age, starting college, determining what they want to do with their lives, is that it doesn't have a greater significance; it is what it is - fun and entertaining.

Quick note

I have to laugh. Forster's oft-quoted (by me) phrase, "How do I know what I think until I see what I say?" comes back to me as I look at my past few entries. They're all about gratitude, goodness, optimism. This strikes me as amusing because a. I certainly didn't plan that, and b. usually around this time of year I'm somewhere on the spectrum between melancholy and depression. It's typically seasonal, and I muddle through it. Ah, I'm not complaining. Just waiting for a shoe to drop.

But even right now: I'm finishing grading stories--I resent that I have to put numerical grades on creative pieces, although some certainly show more effort and polish than others--and getting ready to watch one of my favorite shows, "Glee." It's a show that exudes optimism and spunk, bordering on corniness.

My Little Bit of Relevance

I've alluded to my accident: hit by a car, put into a coma, lost motor and cognitive functions, and resided in hospital for weeks. In all, my outcomes were the "best case scenario." All potential brain damage was not permanent. Still, those weeks I couldn't talk; couldn't walk; couldn't see the second, less obvious answer to questions posed by my speech therapist, seemed infinite at the time.

That knowledge that I used to be smart, that I used to be able to play the piano, plagued me as I tried to play Für Elise on a keyboard in the lounge area. I knew the melody, I knew the keys, but my fingers were unable to play. I knew something wasn't right, but I lacked the ability to think about it, comprehend it. At the time, I didn't become depressed about my diminished intelligence or piano skills. I took it in a very matter-of-fact manner: "Hmm," I'd thought. "How interesting."

Even now, as I reflect, I think, "How interesting." I often think about that singular purpose I'd had and the fact that I don't really have anything analogous, today. But it remains a resource, an experience I'll keep with me for the next great battle.

An article today in the New York Times discussed Kierkegaard and despair vs. depression. The article suggests that with advances in science and medicine, we are apt to offer medicine as a fix for anything other than happiness; that we assume feelings of melancholy or despair can be remedied by therapy:

And in an age when all psychic life is being understood in terms of neurotransmitters, the art of introspection has become passé.

As someone who, again, embraces the melancholy, I related to the article. I can think and rationalize my way out of "despair," but depression is a much harder rat to kill. I'm lucky in that I haven't had to kill that rat in years.

Went back to five after five tonight, after missing a week for Australia(!), and I find that my tolerance has decreased (that, or the fact that I skipped food at two of the stations but still drank the wine). Oh well. Sleep will cure that...

Edited 11/01 to clarify a couple things...

Random tired musing

I had a coke with dinner tonight, which was kind of silly, given that I didn't eat until after 8pm. Through no conscious effort, my coffee consumption has decreased (over ten days since my last Starbucks!), and thus, perhaps, my tolerance for caffeine has likewise decreased. *Consequently, I'm awake at nearly 2am searching for connections between unrelated events. Looking for bits of **relevancies where there may be none.

First day of class this morning. On the one hand, I feel like I'm getting better. My teacher-ing now would kick my 2007 teacher-ing's ass. But it seems like a false comparison. Today's class was double the size of my first class back then. Any shortcomings I had, I think, were overcome by more individualized instruction; more time spent after class or responding to emails.

Anyway. I need to be more organized. And this early morning, I suppose, that should begin with at least a few hours of sleep.

* Check out all my transition words!

** Spell check tells me "relevancies" is not a word while "irrelevancies" is one; I object!