More than once, my mom, having noticed some weird look in my eyes or just using her mom-ESP, has looked at me and asked, “What’s the matter?” And I’ve responded by bursting into tears. Unable to articulate why I’m upset or sad, I repeat, “I’m fine – really,” while the water-works suggest otherwise.
So it’s been lately, and so it is that I’m writing about it. While I’m fine – really – I’ve felt underwater for reasons both within and outside of my control. I’m not sure how to make it better. But my mom’s been in Mexico the past week, my dad’s been in Kenya for the past month, and my grandma’s been through the wringer the past twenty-one days; maybe I can allow myself to feel sad & scared & overwhelmed for a little bit and not analyze it to death. Instead, focus on what is within my control and the many positives in my life.