Saturday, June 12, 2010

Impulsive but not Unplanned

I told the dean yesterday that I didn't plan to come back next quarter.

On the one hand, this was impulsive. I hadn't known I was going to do that when I got to campus. In my various discussions and ruminations, this had merely been an option (the smarter and financially practical choice would have been to leave the library, instead).

On the other hand, I had made this decision many times; I had told the dean the same thing before the start of the last quarter, and she convinced me to stay.

I am better for having had this experience, and I do hope the students are better for having had me as an instructor. But I know without doubt that my talents and passion lie elsewhere. I'll have the time, when the quarter concludes in July, to pursue those.


Aki Mori said...

Wow! There's something really thrilling and decisive about this entry. Hope you'll share more about it in the future.

August said...

Ha - thanks! It's funny - sometimes I'll reread things that I'd written. I quickly realize that I've had the same struggles, the same joys, the same realizations over and over again. I can't keep doing the same thing and expect different results. A variable needed to change. It was just a matter of figuring out which one.