Tuesday, July 28, 2009
First day of class
When I was going into the 3rd or 4th grade, I got on the wrong yellow bus home. It was the first day of school, and they had added a route; I was confused about which I should take (my old one or the new one) and an administrator suggested I must be on the new one - surely I wouldn't be going to "that" neighborhood.
It didn't take me long to realize I'd gotten on the wrong bus. But rather than tell the driver (too scared!), I got off at the first stop and began walking. Eventually I ended up at a business where I called my mom.
That first day was a relatively good one.
Every first day brings me feelings of anxiety; being the teacher is even harder for me, because I cannot be passive. I can't hide in the back of the class and observe. The past few days I've been dreaming of showing up late, unprepared, of not being listened to. I've felt sick and anxious from my head to my toes.
Luckily, my "first day" usually ends with me feeling rejuvenated. I love the enthusiasm of each new group of students. I just need to work on keeping it. A couple students confided after class was over that they're not scared about anatomy and physiology - they're scared about English. I need to improve in many aspects, but one area I succeed in is dispelling those fears throughout the quarter. At least, I hope I make students feel more comfortable and confident in their writing.
We shall see. I get so down on myself that I forget that I do know a thing or two.
Edited to fix some gnarly grammar!