Way too late (or early)

(Written around 1am; I see this morning that I never hit "publish")

How do I know what I think until I see what I say?

I've thought, often, of this idea of a public voice: speaking from my own point of view toward broader ends; making the public personal and vise versa. While private insecurities and neuroses creep in, I have nonetheless strived to maintain that public voice.

Our society teaches us to hate ourselves. We're insufficient. We're not pretty enough, we don't dress well enough, and we certainly don't work hard enough. With more effort (and, perhaps, a team of specialists), we can be A+ Americans. But as we stand, however and wherever we stand, we're inadequate.

And how dare I rage against these standards, this propaganda and consumerism, and yet refuse to cut myself the same slack. I'm not special; I deserve some slack too. Oh, it's so much easier said than done.

Anyway, my private voice has crept in. I'm still figuring out what do do with it, but for now I'll try to be patient.