(Whenever I start to complain about something, either in writing or in my head, I hear a voice: At least you have a job! Shut up, you don't have to protest for your right to live freely! How shallow - you want to hear problems, I'll tell you problems! And then I tell that voice to be quiet, for just a bit.)
First of all, I was already dreading coming to class, knowing that I was going to have to do something I really don't enjoy: it makes me question myself, my students, and the very nature of education. Second, many students were absent. Third, a planned lesson did not go well. And fourth, I overheard a student say something negative about me during the break.
With two weeks left in the quarter, I can't make significant changes. All I can do is reflect on certain policies, teaching methods, and lessons and try to improve. Some days I feel like I've found my voice in the classroom, one that's authentic and effective. Other days I feel like a shell of a person. A fraud.
That said, scheme of things, I'm fine - lucky to be where I am, to have jobs, family, and friends; lucky to be typing this out, trying to get enthusiastic about going for a run.
But I'm allowed to say tough day :)
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